Page 20 of Hell to Pay

He looked from his dad to Luke. “How’s business?”

The tension in the room was as thick as molasses.

“Excellent,” Richard Carrington said. “Your brother just closed the largest account we’ve ever had.”

Jude looked at Luke. “Nice. Congrats.”

“Thanks,” Luke said. “And this is just the beginning. My team is killing it.”

“What business are you in?” I asked.

Jude’s dad turned his gaze on me and blinked slowly, like he’d just remembered I was there. “Finance.”

“Dad’s being modest,” Luke said. “The company he founded has the largest portfolio in the state.”

“Wow,” I said. I looked at Jude’s dad. “That’s amazing. Have you always been interested in finance?”

“No.” The curt answer surprised me. He cut a glance at Jude. “I chose something that would allow me to live a comfortable life, that would allow me to provide for a family, build something for them. My interests weren’t relevant.”

Ooookay…

I was relieved when the double doors opened — both of them, like we were in some old movie — and Jude’s mom appeared.

She smiled brightly. “Dinner is ready.”

My stomach twisted with nerves and Jude squeezed my hand as we headed for the hall with his dad and Luke. This was weird.

And I had a feeling it was only going to get weirder.

16

JUDE

I already regretted bringing Lilah.Not because I didn’t want her there but because I was seeing everything through her eyes.

And it was fucked.

I’d gotten used to the way things were with my dad and Luke — as much as you could get used to that kind of thing — but it was new to Lilah, and I couldn’t help wondering if she noticed the lack of warmth between us, my mom’s false gaiety, like she was hosting a dinner party during a house fire and trying to pretend everything was fine.

I kept Lilah close while we made our way to the dining room, already set with formal place settings, candles flickering at the center of the table. A linen tablecloth rested between the antique dining table and the expensive china, the sparkling crystal. I knew my mom had spent the day polishing the sterling silverware, that she’d had the housekeeper clean each crystal on the sparkling chandelier over the table.

My skin itched with the need to escape. It was all too much.

Too much formality, too much artifice.

I wanted to be back at the mountain house I shared with Rafe and Nolan — and now Lilah. I craved clean lines and clear surfaces, modernity, spareness.

I couldn’t breathe here.

I smiled at my mom as she fussed over Lilah while we got settled. It was nice, the way she always tried to make things pleasant when we were together, but sad too. It shouldn’t be this hard, should it?

I wondered what it would be like to be part of a family that actually liked each other, one where everyone could be themselves. It was hard to imagine. The only place I’d ever felt like I could be myself was with Rafe and Nolan, and that hadn’t aways been a good thing.

I looked at Lilah and wondered if I’d ever stop feeling shame for what we’d done to her. She was so beautiful and bright, a beam of light cutting through an endless night. We’d almost stamped it out, and the thought almost broke me.

My mom fussed for a bit before taking her seat opposite my dad at one end of the long table. Lilah and I sat on one side while Luke took the other and the housekeeper, Moira, started serving the food.

I could tell Lilah was still nervous, but she made a valiant effort at conversation, exclaiming about how good the lamb smelled, how much she loved brussels sprouts. My mom smiled gratefully at her while my dad and Luke sat silently by.

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