Page 7 of To the Grave

“Sorry I haven’t cooked in so long,” I said, guilt weighing on my chest.

I wasn’t the only one who’d been suffering. Wolf and Otis (I hated that I couldn’t think of them as the Beasts without Jace) had been cooking for themselves, eating takeout and junk food, keeping things together while I’d been MIA.

Wolf reached over to tuck a piece of hair behind my ear. “We don’t expect you to cook for us, sunshine.”

“It’s part of our deal.”

I’d agreed to provide room and board to the Beasts in exchange for their help fixing up the house. All a ruse, obviously, to find out if they’d really killed Blake. Somewhere along the way it had turned into a lot more than a mutually beneficial working arrangement, but our original agreement lingered in my mind.

“You don’t think we’re still here because of that stupid deal, do you?” Otis asked, plucking a strawberry from the bowl.

“No, but it was part of the agreement.”

“Fuck the agreement,” Otis said.

Wolf’s piercing blue eyes shone with humor. “Yeah, fuck the agreement.”

“You’ve kept up your end,” I pointed out.

While I’d been out of it, they’d continued their work on the house, painting and repairing plaster and refinishing floors. The only big thing that was left was the kitchen. That and the decorating, which was my department.

“We’re not keeping score, doll.” Otis had almost cleaned his plate and was polishing off a piece of toast smeared with strawberry jam. The kitchen had been surprisingly well stockedconsidering I could barely remember shuffling through the grocery store with them.

I bit into a strawberry and savored the explosion of sweet juice in my mouth. It felt good to eat real food, fresh food. I’d need to make a grocery list, go to the store. I was suddenly craving oranges and crisp local apples and salads loaded with veggies. Maybe I’d make a pot of soup using one of Joan’s recipes. She made the best soup.

I pushed my plate away, got up to pour a fresh round of coffee, and grabbed myself a giant glass of water for good measure. Then I sat down and looked at Wolf and Otis.

“What’s been happening?” I asked. “While I’ve been… gone.”

Wolf tapped his fingers on the kitchen table. “Not as much as we’d like. We’ve been following up on something from Calvin’s phone — and Aloha has Blake’s — but other than that, we’re stuck.”

“What kind of something?” I asked.

“A bar in Glenville,” Otis said.

“What about it?” I asked.

“Blake mentioned meeting someone there in a text before he died,” Wolf said. “It might be nothing, but it’s all we’ve got, so Otis and I have been taking turns casing the place, hoping something — or someone — turns up.”

“How long have you been doing this?”

Otis shrugged. “About five weeks. It took us that long to get our heads straight.”

I swallowed around the lump in my throat. “I’m sorry I’ve been so checked out.”

It was unforgivable. Wolf and Otis had been caught with Jace in the fire at the Blades compound. They’d had to make the decision to leave him there when he’d ordered them to save themselves for me.

Wolf frowned. “Nothing to be sorry for, sunshine.”

“I…” I took a deep breath. “I haven’t been here for you the way you have for me. I’ve been selfish.”

It hadn’t felt selfish to withdraw. It hadn’t even felt like a choice. I’d just tipped over into a black hole so deep and dark it had blotted out everything, even my love for Wolf and Otis.

And I did love them. We didn’t feel complete without Jace, but I loved Wolf and Otis with every bit of the heart I had left.

Wolf squeezed my hand on the table. “It’s okay. We’re okay.”

I looked at him, then Otis. “Are you? Really? How are…” I had to pause to catch my breath. Even talking about Jace’s death threatened to bury me under a fresh mountain of darkness. “How are you both doing?”

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