Page 131 of Kings & Carnage

I searched the shadows at the edges of the room and found Neo, staring at me from the chair across from the bed, his post whenever he wasn't lying with me.

We hadn't had a chance to talk about the fact that he’d killed his father. I imagined it would take a long time to process, and I hoped he would do that and not stuff it down under a bunch of macho bullshit.

Enough damage had been done in the name of macho bullshit. There had to be a better way.

He smiled at me across the room and I felt that same unnameable thing move between us. I’d once thought it was just physical chemistry.

Now I knew it was so much more.

Oscar and Rock stirred, like they'd sensed I was awake.

"Need anything, kitten?" Rock asked, his voice sleepy.

I had no idea what time it was but I knew it was the middle of the night, the hospital around us quiet except for occasional footsteps outside my door.

"My own bed would be nice," I said. "Or one of yours.”

Oscar grinned. "Now I know you're feeling better.”

News of Roberto's death and the arrest of several infamous figures in the Italian, Irish, Russian, and cartel families had been broken in an exclusive scoop from Daniel Longhat in theBlackwell Tribune. The search was still underway for the missing girls, presumably buried in the woods, but Detective Rodriguez was hopeful one of the suspects would confess and point them in the right direction in exchange for a plea deal.

I hoped they would. My mom — and all the moms and families of the missing girls — deserved closure.

I wasn't looking forward to my conversation with my mom, but I hoped it would be the first of many that would repair our relationship now that Roberto was out of the picture.

Neo rose to his feet and wiped his hands on his jeans in an uncharacteristic display of nervousness, then walked toward my hospital bed.

"Move over," Neo said to Rock.

Rock shifted to give Neo room and Neo settled on the edge of my mattress.

He scratched at the shadow on his strong jaw. "I have no fucking idea how to do this.”

I shook my head. "Do what?”

"This… thing I'm about to do," he said. "I thought maybe I should do it when we’re alone, but these two assholes are basically my brothers, and I want to make sure everything's cool.”

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Oscar said.

Neo looked at me. "Listen Jezebel, it's no secret that I'm a world-class prick. I don't think I ever saw a single good thing in anyone until the day you opened that closet door when we were kids.”

I reached for his hand. "What is this?”

"Just… let me get this out," he said. "So anyway, as I was saying, a world-class prick. No need to protest.”

I smiled. "Do you hear me protesting?”

He chuckled. “Brutal.”

I smiled wider. "I learned from the best.”

He held my gaze. "What I'm trying to say is that if my soul is a fucking black hole — and I'm pretty sure it is — then you’re the one brilliant shining fucking star at its center. And if you really want to leave, well then, I want you to leave too because there's nothing I want more than for you to be happy, and that's because there's no one in the fucking world who deserves it more than you.”

“A-fucking-men,” Oscar murmured next to me.

"But I want you to know that I want you to stay. I want you to stay so that we can see your beautiful face and that smile that lights up my whole fucking world. And… I’m not just saying I want you to stay." He reached for something in the pocket of his jacket and held out a tiny black velvet box. He popped the lid, and a giant square-cut diamond in a platinum setting glimmered from inside. "I'm saying I want you to marry me, Willa. I want you to marry me and let me do my fucking best to make you the happiest girl on the planet with the caveat that I probably won't be able tonotbe a world-class prick overnight. But…. well, I’ll work on it every day.”

I was pretty sure my mouth was hanging open, which was probably why Rock chose that moment to mutter, "Fuck me.”

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