Page 8 of Protection for Rowan

“You don’t have to answer. It’s just that it’s all I did. And I don’t want?—”

“I don’t judge you for doing that. Relationships are difficult.”

He blew out a quick breath. “I want to get to know you. The last time I saw you, you were seventeen.”

"I was married for a while, and I've been through a lot. Are you sure you're okay with that?"

“Babe, we’ve both been through stuff. And you being married isn’t a big deal for me. I mean, I know it probablyhurt to end it for you, but it doesn’t make a difference in how I feel about you.”

“Thank you.”

It sounded like he settled in more. “What is one thing you’ve been through that would surprise me?”

Rowan blew out a breath, her stomach churning. “Wow. That’s a question.”

"You don't have to answer. I'll tell you mine. I was on leave and walking through the streets of Napoli in Italy. I heard a woman scream and went to investigate. Her baby was coming early. I helped to deliver the baby, and we kept it alive after I got the umbilical cord off the baby's neck. The ambulance got there ten minutes later. She still sends me photos, and I send the kid birthday presents."

Tears formed in her eyes. She hated seeing kids in danger, and his story and the fact that he stayed in contact with the family got to her. "Oh, wow. That's amazing."

“Yeah. The girl is almost six now.”

She wiped away the few tears gathered in the corner of her eyes, glad he couldn’t see her right then. “I’m not totally surprised.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re a good person.” He scoffed, but she continued. “You might have done some things with your job that make you think you aren’t, and you admitted that you do one-night stands in a way that makes me think you’re a little ashamed of them. But deep down, you’re a good person who would do good things.”

He cleared his throat. “I try. But sometimes I wonder if I’m going to end up being punished for some of the things I’ve done.”

She squeezed her eyes closed, and her mouth grew dry as she thought about the shocking thing she'd done. "I wonder that, too."

Silence hung between them. “What could you have done that would be that bad?”

She cleared her throat, trying to buy some time. “I, um, I did something awful. I hope it doesn’t make you think less of me.”

“I’ve killed people. Even though it was in the line of duty, it still takes a toll. I’m sure you’ve never done anything that bad.”

Heat washed over her as more tears gathered in her eyes. No matter how many years had passed, how many times she’d talked it through in therapy, it still bugged her. “Actually, I have I done that.”

Her ears buzzed, and she had to breathe deeply so she wouldn't pass out. It had been a long time since she'd told anyone other than her own therapist. It was hard to digest and hard to think about. That time in her life had been filled with confusion and pain. If it had been an accident, she might have felt different about killing him, but she'd meant to end his life, and that one action still followed her.

Chapter 5

Rowan’s words shocked him.He hadn’t expected her to tell him that she’d killed someone. Had he misunderstood her meaning? Maybe that was it. He needed to say something, but the words had frozen on his tongue. It took him a moment to recover enough to speak.

“Um, I’m sure you?—“

“I meant to kill him. I pulled the trigger and ended his life.”

The sorrow in her voice was heartbreaking. He wished he was with her so he could hold her. “Tell me what happened.”

He heard something clinking in the background, as if she was grabbing something to drink. "It was a year after the crash, and my mom had remarried. I didn't know the man well, but he was living in our house. I was taking classes at the local university. Doing things like staying up late studying and sleeping in. Mom went to work, and he came into my room while I was asleep. He crawled into my bed and woke me up. He tried to play it off as no big deal, that he'd crawled into my bed by mistake. You know how itgoes. His old place had his room where mine was along the hall, yada yada yada."

“Fucker. He deserved to be shot for that.”

"Oh, it gets worse. The next week, he came to my bed naked. I got away from him at first. I ran to the bathroom, and he kept trying to break into it. Eventually, he left me alone. But when I left the bathroom and headed back to my room, he came at me again. I ran and ended up in their room. I was trapped, and he made his move. He was on me, trying to get my underwear off. He got it off, but I punched him in the nose and got away. He came after me with a baseball bat, threatening to beat me. I ran outside and made it to his truck. He kept a gun in the storage bin beside the front seat. I grabbed the gun, but he pulled me out of the truck by the legs. He was standing with the bat above his head. I knew it was over. He yelled something about beating me, and I knew if he started swinging the bat, I'd be dead. So I shot him."

Shine felt like he’d had the wind knocked out of him. She’d been through so much. “I’m so sorry. What you went through was awful.”

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