Page 46 of Protection for Rowan

His eyes narrowed. “Are you?”

Maybe it was the way he was looking at her, or maybe her own words, that made her pause. She wasn't better. She needed more time, but she knew a man like Shine wouldn't wait forever for her to get over the trauma.

“I’m okay.”

His eyes narrowed. “That was a lie.”

“It was not.”

“You looked away when you said it. Hold my gaze and tell me you’re okay. That being held and violated by that jerk didn’t negatively affect you.”

She pressed her lips together and stared at him, wondering why he was being so mean. But he wasn't being mean. He was just trying to look out for her.

It made her angry that she needed help. She prided herself in being able to handle things, and here she was, falling apart because she'd been hurt like millions of other women. She didn't like the idea of having to adjust her life just because some idiot had held her captive and used her.

“This isn’t fair.”

Shine stepped closer and then cupped her cheek, his thumb slowly running over her skin. "Life isn't fair. We're dealt the hands we're given, and we have to make sense of it. Sometimes, it's just random cards that can't beat anything. Other times, our cards are a royal flush. But we don't get a say in which cards we get, or if we do, it's minimal. Life isn't fair, and I'm sure you've told clients the same thing."

She huffed out a breath. “I have told clients that it isn’t fair. But I hate being on the receiving end. I don’t want this. All the guilt, the fear, the pain.”

He kissed her forehead. “I know. And you don’t deserve it, either. I’m not going anywhere. It will take time, and I’m here for it.”

“So you’re okay with me living here and us not having sex?”

He pushed her to arm's length. "Rowan, we can get to a place where we trust each other to share our bodies and be intimate with each other. It doesn't have to be now. So yes, I can live with you being here and in my bed without us getting busy. I may need to jack off in the shower, but I respect you and your process."

She bit her lower lip, unsure how long it would take before she felt comfortable with sex. She wanted Shine, but she couldn’t get past some of the things in her mind.

“I do want you. I just…”

He pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her. She felt protected in his embrace. “I understand. We will take things slow. We have time.”

“I don’t like slow.”

“I know. But your life was disrupted. Now it’s time to heal.”

She closed her eyes. “Maybe you should be the therapist.”

His chuckle rumbled through her. “Naw, you’re the one who helps people that way. I just bust in and save people.”

A shudder ripped through her. “Thank you for finding me. I know I would be lost still if you and your friends hadn’t made it a priority to find me.”

Shine didn’t wantto think about how she would have still been out there with Charles if he and his team hadn’t found the jerk’s ex and talked her into getting herparents to check on the cabin. The police hadn’t even wanted to look for her. He got that they were busy, but Rowan had been in trouble.

“I was so worried.”

She nodded. “I was plenty worried myself.”

In his years with the Navy, he'd never been held by any group. Sure, they'd done training, but he'd known it was training and didn't let it go to his head. He hadn't been confused or too stressed because he knew the exercise would end if he played it cool. Rowan hadn't known when the ordeal would end.

“I’m glad you’re safe now. But I also know it will take time for you to get back to normal or close to normal. So we’re going to take the sex thing slow.”

She huffed out a breath but didn't argue with him. He would do everything in his power to make sure she got the care she needed to recover.

Once she laid down, she fell asleep fast, and he slipped from the bedroom to do some reading. The next day, he kissed Rowan goodbye, glad to see she'd set the alarm before he'd even pulled out of the driveway.

Work kept him busy. A terrorist organization they’d been trying to squash for years had reared its ugly head again. They worked through information, weighing the data they had versus what they believed the group was planning. He didn’t want to wait to go in but understood the need for caution.

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