Page 45 of Protection for Rowan

“Oh.”

Her face fell, and he pulled her close. “You know we aren’t used to each other, and we need to give it some time. You couldn’t have known I needed more food.”

She shook her head. “I just don’t want to mess up. I’m usually more put together than this, but everything is off. I feel like a car rolling only on three wheels.”

Her words made him want to laugh out loud, but he didn't want to upset her, so he held back. He put his hands on her shoulders, hoping he could show her how he felt. "You aren't messing up. You didn't know."

She shook her head. "I just feel so off. And I don't know how much you eat. And I don't know what's going on. And I want to get to know you better, but I need more time. I don't feel that I have—I'm sorry. I'm going off, and you just got home."

He cupped her cheeks and then kissed her forehead. “It’s understandable that things are hard. We both need to give each other grace. That’s the only way this will work.”

“I didn’t think about how much food you would need for dinner. I should have understood.”

He didn't like how much she was beating herself up. She'd been through a lot, much more than most. It was understandable that her reactions would be off. "Really, it's okay."

He grabbed a container of frozen chicken and popped the lid off before putting it into the microwave to thaw. He knew they would have growing pains coming together. Her moving in after such a traumatic event had to be weird for her. She was going through leaving the safety of her home, which now wasn't safe, and living with him. That had to be a total mind fuck for her.

“What are you thinking about?”

He turned to face her. “That you’re a very strong person.”

She scoffed. “I’m not.”

"You are. You went through something traumatic, and you're still standing."

"I don't feel like I'm doing great. I feel like I'm failing. There's so much going on, and I'm struggling."

“Did you talk to your therapist?”

She shrugged. “I did. But she had an emergency, so we had to end the session early.”

“Were you okay with that?”

She nodded, but he wasn't convinced that she reallywas okay with ending the session early. She needed more time to process everything that happened. He wasn't going to push her, so he turned the conversation to the beach. He told her about a few of the things he'd done during the day and about some of their workouts. After dinner, he could see that she was exhausted, so he suggested a shower and bed. She reluctantly agreed.

Chapter 34

Rowan wokeup feeling like she needed something but wasn't sure what. Most of the day, she felt odd, like she was lost. She connected with her therapist again and felt a little better, but still, something felt totally out of place.

When Shine made it home, she felt better. Having him around settled her mind. The worry she carried around all day seemed to disappear.

She was getting ready for bed and about to step into the shower when Shine opened the door. She could see the lust flash in his eyes, but he turned away from her.

Was she denying him? Maybe. She had felt itchy all day. Maybe sex would help. She followed him into the den as she pulled on a shirt.

“Everything okay?”

He turned, his gaze blanking. “Yes. I was just, um… I came back in here for water.”

“You know, you can still want me.”

He blew out a breath. “I do want you. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“How would you hurt me?”

"You were held captive. I can't—you went through hell. I can keep my hands off you until you recover."

“What if I say I’m recovered?”

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