Page 79 of The Nanny Goal

His eyebrows go up. “Is that a smile?”

“Fuck off.” I carry my plate to a table as Calhoun re-joins us.

“I smile,” I say to both of them.

They exchange a doubtful look.

“I smile,” I repeat with more of a growl. “I literally just smiled.”

“And it was noteworthy,” Dodaj says.

I roll my eyes and start eating. Then I stop and lift my chin towards Calhoun, wanting to be thoughtful. “Everything okay with you?”

He looks startled. “Yeah?”

“You got a text message and had to leave.”

He rapid blinks a few times as his cheeks turn red. “Becca sent me a private photo,” he finally stammers.

We both laugh.

“See? I’m fucking smiling,” I point out.

Then I stab a piece of hash with my fork. End of conversation.

He doesn’t mind. Just turns to Dodaj and starts debating last night’s games from around the league. I listen with half an ear, letting the rhythm of their voices wash over me.

Our captain, Jenson Hale, joins the table with a nod and a calm presence. He’s young for the captaincy, but he’s going to be a franchise stable for a decade, and he has the right personality. Our teammates call Haler “Mom” sometimes, and after the last captain got pushed out—both from the team and his marriage—some loving parenting is what the team needs.

Especially today and tomorrow, because that former captain? I was traded for him, and he’s now on Forrest’s team in Calgary. He had a broken jaw at the start of the season, so when the two teams faced off in Calgary, he wasn’t on the ice.

Tomorrow night, though, Max Tilman will be in the building where he once wore the C, and it’s going to be ugly.

The room fills slowly. Malik Zondi slides into the seat next to me, apparently unaffected by my show of jealousy over Emery. “Good news, boys. I’m out of the no contact jersey for practice today. Might be on the ice tomorrow for the dragon slaying.”

Dodaj and Calhoun drum on the table in unison, making our plates jump.

“Fuck yeah,” Haler says, pumping his fist.

Marsh stops on his way to the next table, where he’ll sit with the other veterans on the team, and gives Zondi a fist bump. Where Haler is our “Mom”, Marshie is “Dad”. Part emotional support veteran, part mentor, part myth.

“Best vengeance is a dub,” Marshie says dryly.

And that’s all the reframing our table needs.

The conversation shifts to the practice and team meeting ahead. One of the coaches comes in and writes the schedule on the whiteboard, because we need to be kept on track.

I finish eating, clear my dishes to be nice to the kitchen staff, and then head to the dressing room.

I can hear some of my other teammates down the hall, having treatments done first. According to the schedule posted, some other guys are in pre-practice meetings with the coaching staff, too.

For right now, I have the dressing room to myself, and I like it that way.

I think about how surprised Dodaj was by me smiling.

I smile, don’t I?

I laugh with Inessa all the time.

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