Page 163 of The Nanny Goal

She squeals and runs at him, throwing it hard at his chest.

He catches it easily and gives me a deeply amused look that I feel all the way to my toes, all hot and secret and fun. “Thanks, little one.” He squeezes some of the sunscreen into his hands, then gives her the bottle. “You can give it back to Emery now. She’ll need to do my back shortly.”

Proud of her new job, she hustles it back to me. “This is Emmy’s.”

Then she tips her head to the side, thinking. She looks back to Alexei, then to me again.

“Papa. Emmy.” She cackles like she’s told a funny joke, but we aren’t in on the punch line. Then she points at Alexei. “Daddy.” She giggles and smashes her hand to mouth. Hilarious. She points at me. “Mommy.”

My heart stops.

Alexei is looking at me. I hold very still and don’t react.

But he sees me, he always sees me, so he scoops her up and strides down to the water as she shrieks in protest.

“Come for a swim,” he calls me to over his shoulder.

I can’t.

I’m crying.

They’re happy tears, but I’m still crying. And my hands are covered in sunscreen, so if I wipe my eyes, they’ll burn.

I blindly grab a towel to wipe my face, then I jog after them into the surf.

They’re floating together in water that is mid-chest height on me. As soon as I get close, Alexei shifts Inessa to one arm, and uses the other to pull me in close.

“We love you,” he says.

I breathe.

We float.

Inessa holds on to her dad’s neck, super tight.

“I don’t want to replace anyone,” I finally whisper.

He smiles. “I know.”

“I love her so much.”

Inessa turns her face and smiles at me, dimples popping as she slaps her hand on the water.

I take her from him, lifting her out of the water, then splashing her down. Up and down. Up and down.

He wraps himself around me from behind.

“It’s okay for you to be Mommy,” he murmurs. “It won’t change the fact that Tatyana is her Mama. You aren’t a…usurper? Is that the worry?”

I nod and sniffle and then smile at Inessa as we float in the waves.

His lips brush my neck, whispering against the sensitive spot behind my ear. “You’ll be Mommy to her brothers and sisters, after all.”

I turn hot inside, instantly.

“Stop,” I whisper, not meaning it at all.

“No? You don’t want to hear how I think about your belly swelling with our next child? I love being a father, Emery. You want to make me a daddy again?”

---