Page 135 of The Nanny Goal

“And before that, I told him I needed time and privacy to talk to you.”

“Oh.” Her eyes go wide. “So they…”

“They live with us. Of course they can see how I feel about you.”

She presses her lips together, her cheeks turning pink. “They’re going to be so disappointed when I leave.”

“No.” I drag in a rough breath. “Fucking hell, come here. Let me hold you, please.”

She crawls towards me, tentatively, and we both exhale in relief when I pull her into my lap and hug her, an embrace that starts out tight and gets even tighter. I wrap my arms all the way around her, my face burrowing into her neck.

“They could never be disappointed in you for following your dreams,” I mumble. “And neither could I.”

“But…” She takes a deep breath. “I know your mom doesn’t like Tatyana.”

Ah, fuck.

I squeeze even tighter. “That’s more complicated than her dreams simply being elsewhere. You are your own person, and our relationship is completely different.” I grunt, hating what I’m about to admit, but Emery deserves to know everything. “This isn’t about her. But Tatyana never got mad at me. She would pout and beg and plead, but if I put up a limit about anything, she would just…how do you say it, take her ball and go home? And when she was gone, she didn’t miss me. Our lives were never entwined, until we had a child together. And I’m grateful for the gift she gave me, but I will never understand it, because even after that, she somehow managed to detangle herself from us with ease. That’s why my mother doesn’t like her. She is not objective when it comes to her only child and grandchild.”

“No, of course she isn’t.” Emery kisses the side of my head softly.

I spread my hands wide across her back, wanting to anchor as much of myself to her as I can. “And that fierce energy? That protective mama bear vibe? The only other time I have ever seen it, Emery, is when I watched that video of you talking to Inessa this morning.”

“I can’t believe you watched that,” she says, then groans. “I fell apart.”

“I have done that, too. It’s okay.”

She takes a deep breath, then wriggles backwards. I give her just enough space for her to take my face in her hands, so she can look at me. “She never got mad at you?”

I laugh. “That’s the part you picked up on?”

“I don’t know. I just…I feel like I could get mad at you a lot.”

I grin. “Because you care.”

She exhales carefully, her lips pursed in an oh, and she nods. “So much.” Her voice hitches. “I know this isn’t about Tatyana, but I’m glad you told me. I…I don’t have any experience with serious relationships.”

“I need to be very clear. In hindsight, neither do I. You’re right. This isn’t about her. But also, I didn’t wantthiswith her. I only want this with you.”

“And what isthis?”

“It’s everything. But don’t worry. I know that your everything includes an adventure in New York. And I’ll miss you, but I miss you when I have to travel for work, too. And I do that half of the season, don’t I? So it’s hardly fair for me to begrudge you the same thing.”

“I’ll miss you, too. And Inessa…” She makes a face, clearly trying not to cry. “Fuck, I’m going to miss her so much.”

“We’ll come to New York as soon as the season is over.”

“Don’t rush through playoffs for my sake,” she says, laughing through her watery words.

“I won’t. Maybe we’ll luck out and New York will meet us in the conference finals.”

“Can you imagine?” She gets a bright, hopeful look on her face.

And for all the bruised feelings she has about hockey, I can imagine it very clearly. Her in the stands, and then on the ice after we win. Her pure joy, because that’s what we are always going to have for each other—love, and respect, and celebrating each other in every way.

Which starts with putting her first.

I thread our fingers together.

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