Page 126 of The Nanny Goal

And then right on cue, Inessa wakes up. Because that’s life with a toddler. The universe really thought I needed a reminder of what it would mean to love Alexei—no honeymoon period, just a lot of real life. Arguments and misunderstandings and constant interruptions.

It would be real from day one, it alreadyisreal, and all the incredible intimacy we just shared now needs to be packed away with this disagreement on top of it.

We both stare at the baby monitor.

“I have to get dressed,” he mutters.

“Wait,” I say. “Please let me?—”

He gives me a disbelieving look that shuts me right up.

I sit down on his bed, heavily, and watch in disbelief as he stalks into the bathroom first, then to his closet. He avoids eye contact with me as he quickly and efficiently transforms back into Inessa’s Dad, and then leaves me alone to wonder if the man who I’d just seen, and held, and loved, was nothing but a mirage.

CHAPTER41

ALEXEI

By the time I get Inessa changed, Emery has disappeared into the bathroom and the shower is running.

“Let’s go downstairs,” I say, my heart sinking.

“I do it,” Inessa insists, not wanting me to carry her.

“Hold on to the railing.”

“Yep,” she says, and she sounds so much like Emery it physically hurts.

She’s leaving.

Inessa is oblivious, chattering away to me in Russian.

“Let’s go to the park, Papa.”

“Can we play mini sticks, Papa?”

“It’s okay, I’ll get it, Papa.”

“Wait, what?” I realize I’ve followed Inessa into the kitchen, and she’s trying to open the fridge. “I’ll get it.”

I open the door, then look down at her. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t listening. What do you want?”

“Papa!”

“What?”

“I want milk.” She gives me an exaggerated pout.

“Try using your manners.”

She takes a deep, exaggerated breath, then gives me a very sweet smile. “Please have milk?”

“Of course.”

I fill a sippy cup for her, then mix up a supplement shake for myself, too, while I’m at it. The routine of it is like a lifetime.

She’s leaving.

It’s a drum beat in my head for the next few hours. Emery escapes for an hour, going grocery shopping and dropping off the baby shower supplies at Kieran and Harper’s house.

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