Page 114 of The Nanny Goal

“You don’t have to say anything like that to me, ever. But I want you to know.” My voice catches. “I want you to always know, no matter what, that you have that effect on me. Even when you’re mad at me.”

She relaxes into her pillow and nods. “That’s the nicest thing you’ve given me this week. And that’s a very high bar given the weird chocolates.”

I tip my head back and laugh.

When I look back at the camera, Emery is gazing at me with a completely bare, vulnerable stare. And I can’t tell her what I see there, but it’s an incredible gift, too.

“Good night, moya polovinka.”

“What does that mean?” She smiles sleepily. “You’ve stopped calling me solnishko.”

“No, never. I think I just call you sunshine in English now.”

“I need to learn Russian.”

“When I get home, I’ll teach you.”

I’ll whisper it against her skin until she knows it by heart.

CHAPTER36

EMERY

Shannon comes over for lunch the last day of the road trip. We’ve narrowed in on a tea party menu for the baby shower, but we both want there to be some surprises that really blow people away.

I’m in the middle of enthusiastically explaining how silken tofu makes an amazing dessert base for lime and yuzu when my phone lights up with an unexpected email notification—from Montrose Atelier Culinare, the school I’m going to in Switzerland.

Or… the school Iwasgoing to go to, I realize, when I tap into it.

My voice trails off as I start to read the message.

It is with sincere regret that we write to inform you that the upcoming July cohort of the Montrose Atelier Culinare program has been postponed due to unforeseen environmental damage to our facilities. A recent mudslide caused significant structural impact to our kitchens and lodging quarters, and for the safety of our students and faculty, we will be unable to proceed with the summer session as planned.

We understand this is unexpected news, and we want to acknowledge the time and dedication you've already invested in preparing for this program.

Our team has been working diligently to protect your opportunity for advanced culinary training. We have secured an alternate placement through our partner institution in New York City, but the enrolment dates would be…

“Sorry,” I say, my voice distant. “I just need to read the rest of this email.”

We understand that this disruption may cause disappointment or uncertainty. If you'd prefer to defer your Montrose placement, we will reserve your spot without penalty.

My heart immediately knows it wants to do that. Just…defer. Put it off until next year. I can go to Switzerland next year, and…

And what?

Spend a year playing house and secret orgasms?

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Shannon says.

I have. It’s the Ghost of Emery Past, who was ready to fall in love with Alexei at the first hot press of his mouth between my legs.

“My culinary institute emailed,” I say numbly.

I explain the gist of the email. And I get choked up when I repeat the option they’ve given me. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m so upset.”

She shifts sideways in her chair and rubs my back. “You had a plan, and it’s been derailed. I would be upset, too.”

I wipe my eye, furious that tears are trying to get involved here. There’s no reason tocry. That’s ridiculous. “Look at me. This is nothing. It’s fine. I just need to make a decision.”

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