Page 12 of The Rebound Plan

“Oh great,” I say, straight faced. “That means I can gift you mine, and you won’t have two identical paintings.”

She giggle snorts. “Can I tell Jenson I painted it and see how long he goes before asking me if I was drunk?”

I clutch my chest. “You wound me, friend.”

She pats my shoulder. “You’ll survive.”

I’m about to ask her if she wants me to hang out for a bit when her phone rings. The car tells her it’sHandsome Husbandcalling, and she gets such a lovesick look on her face, I immediately say goodnight, leaving my painting behind on her back seat.

As I walk home, dozens of discordant thoughts bombard my brain. I’m usually very good at flicking away anything that threatens to plant a little seed of doubt, but it’s been a long, lonely summer, and today was a weird day.

Maybe it’s good that the team is getting together in Muskoka for a cottage retreat. I’m always on more confident footing during the season, so yes, let’s start all of that sooner. I know people like Ani are less eager for the season to start, because it’ll mean seeing their husbands less, but I like the routine we have. If anything, I find too much time with Max in the summer is stressful, because he’s a lot to manage.

During the season, he has a whole front office who helps with that.

My role sharpens to making our home life as easy as possible for him. My goal is always to smooth out any wrinkles in my husband's life that stand between him and his team getting the cup the next season. I don't kid myself on how much of a role I have to play in that. It's more aboutnotplaying too much of a role, not being a distraction, not being in the way. It is about being as easy as humanly possible, and the reward for that is a life of leisure, is a life of ease, a life of safety.

But there are trade-offs.

Truthfully, the problem with settling for safety, security, and decent sex a few times a month when the stars all align is that it leaves a lot of room for inappropriate thoughts. I manage to ignore most of them, but the odd one slips through.

I’ll never act on them, of course. I sowed my wild oats early on, before my marriage, and I know exactly how mediocre an experience it is to spread my legs for a fantasy.

But as I inch into my thirties, my libido is getting harder to ignore. Louder in its demand for a good, hard release. Or a few releases, over and over again, a favourite middle-of-the-night idea I indulge in…and then feel guilty for.

Most of the time, I exhaust my body with long runs and I busy my mind with exciting projects, like Ani’s fundraiser idea. And I’m thinking about starting a podcast, although I keep spinning my wheels on the direction I want it to go in.

I’m almost home when my phone vibrates.

Finally, Russ has texted me back.

Russ: Thanks.

I stop and laugh at the brevity. I start typing back, eager to get going on whatever he needs me to do. But before I can hit send, another message comes in, making mine unnecessary.

Russ: I’m at Camden Granger’s wedding right now, so couldn’t respond right away. We’ve got a plan, and it’s going to be great. Heading there tomorrow and will get everything organized. Just come and enjoy yourself. One last taste of summer before things get real.

I frown at thewe. Who is we?

An spasm of something I can’t name zaps through me.

Pushing it away, I flip over to the group chat with the girls. Dots tell me that Harper is currently typing, everyone finally checking in at the end of the night.

Harper: Can’t wait to see you all. I’m so tan from the Italy. The sun is just different there? Hopefully I’ll be over my jet lag, too. Just woke up from a five hour nap.

Kiley: That’s not a nap, that’s a short overnight sleep. Your brain thinks it’s morning now.

Harper: Oh, shit. Noooo.

Shannon: So happy you’re home. Let’s catch up this week.

Ani: Can we do coordinated outfits for the retreat?

I exhale happily. Yes, yes we can.

All I need is a weekend in the country with my husband and his teammates and all of these weird little threads of summer loneliness and worry will fade away. My happy place is the hockey season. And that is around the corner, and then everything will get back to normal.

CHAPTER 4

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