Page 98 of The Rebound Plan

I can’t unfeel all the emotions he unlocked from inside me, I’m not that strong.

Russ catches me and spins me around, pressing me against the wall. Crowding against me. “There was nothing wrong with what we did. It felt good because it was good. You’re incredible, a goddess, and feeling you come on my tongue is one of the highlights of my entire fucking life.”

His hand traces up my spine, and I shiver at the memory of his mouth moving along that same path. When he called me his queen.

“But you won’t kiss me,” I say bitterly.

“Not today. Not while you wear his ring.”

I choke on a sob.

Russ exhales and stills his touch, his hand curling around the nape of my neck. His other fingers wrapping around my hip. He presses his face into my hair from behind. “It’s okay, Shan.”

“Fuck you. Nothing is okay.”

He doesn’t respond to that. He just holds me tight, pressing me against the wall, until the fight leaves my body and I sag.

Then he turns me around and pulls me into his chest, hugging me even tighter than he pressed me against the wall.

“Why did you…” The words clog in my throat. I hope he can read my mind with the rest of the unspoken question.Why did you get physical like that?

After a long pause, he grates out, “You looked like you needed it.”

I have to fight against this, because I hate what it would mean if he’s right. “You don’t know what I need."

"Maybe I don’t. But neither does your husband."

“God damn you.” But my voice cracks.

“Where is he, Shan? Why isn’t he wrapping you in his number and holding you tight?”

I can’t tell him. So I just shake my head, and he pulls me into his chest again. I lose myself in the embrace of a man who isn’t my husband, and I cry. The weakness I feel right now is exacerbated by the strength that radiates through this man.

But as the fight leaches out of me, it’s replaced with a new calm. An uncommon steadiness that I barely recognize.

I take a deep breath.

Russ rubs my back. “That’s it,” he murmurs. “Take another deep breath just like that.”

“Don’t coach me,” I mutter. But I do it anyway.

And it does feel better, but I don’t love it. I can’t let Russ take care of me. I can’t want.

He eases back and looks down at me. “You’re a mess, aren’t you?”

Somehow that works better for me.

I exhale and nod. “Yeah.”

“That’s okay. It’s okay to be a mess.” His gaze searches my face, his eyes seeing too much. “Max is still staying somewhere else?”

“Not every night.” I swallow hard. “It’s not like he’s moved out. He’s…there’s someone else. And…it’s not the first time.”

His expression betrays a flash of thunder before he tightens it up. “Shannon.”

“I know. Iknow. But…it’s complicated. The history between us, my past. I never expected him to be faithful, I think. Deep down. But this is the first time that I…”

Russ grips my shoulders. “It isnotyour fault. Don’t say that.”

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