Page 74 of Shame

This is a brutal kind of beautiful. I clench my hands tight at my sides. I don’t cry. I don’t puke. I lift my chin. “I’m overwhelmed. Can you crowd out the bad feelings?”

“I can do that, baby. Put your head in Daddy’s lap.”

I scramble across the room and drop to my knees, pressing my face into his lap. I don’t understand why this feels so good, why it calms the storm inside me.

He combs his fingers through my hair, then rubs my neck. When I’m calm, I look up.

He’s smiling at me.

“I found something in the basement that I want to wear for you.”

“I want to see it.”

I blush as I hold it up, and he helps me stand. I pull off my shirt, and my bra, because this new shirt is definitely meant to be worn bare chested.

I tug the t-shirt down over my breasts, the cotton rubbing against my nipple. Holding on to the hem, I stretch the fabric in vain. There’s no way it’ll cover my belly button.

“It’s a little small,” I whisper, heat blooming in my cheeks. “But I like it.”

“I like it too.” Luke’s voice grates rough in the air between us and I jerk my head up. His eyes are dark and glittery. “So much. Come sit in my lap, baby girl. Show Daddy your shirt. I don’t think it’s too small.”

“No?” I crawl toward him. As soon as I’m within grabbing range, his hands are on me and I’m tumbling against him.

He’s got a condom in his pocket, because we’re fucking all the time now, and he has it on and is buried inside me before I’m all the way ready.

This is my filthiest, favouritest way to have sex.

Daddy needing me and making himself fit inside me when I’m too tight.

It’s fast and desperate and I start to whine, so I grab his hand and press it hard against my mouth.

Eyes wide, he clamps down, silencing me.

I come immediately.

He follows right after.

I sprawl in his lap once we’re disentangled, feeling silly and light and perfect. “That wasn’t too much?”

“No. That was hot.” He drags in a ragged breath. “Honestly, Grace, I don’t think you can go too far. If you want it, if it makes you hot, I’m in. Whatever you want. Whatever I can give you. Even if it’s not something that I’d have imagined before, if it gives you that gleam in your eye…it’s good.”

“Okay.”

“I’m surprised you haven’t bought little white panties yet,” he says with a chuckle, his lips rubbing against my temple.

No, I couldn’t. It would be too much. Too on the nose.

Too dirty.

* * *

Five hours later,I find myself standing in Walmart, figuring out what four-pack of white panties I should buy—if I can bring myself to do it, because I feelfilthy.

Hot, uncomfortable flashes of desire zap through me. Luke’s fingers tracing the edges of the cotton, snapping the elastic.

Sliding underneath and groaning when he finds me wet and slick.

Whispered confessions of want. Begging pleas for more.No, we can’t. Nobody will know. Please, Daddy.

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