Page 122 of Full Mountie

I roll over onto my back and drag my fingers through my hair.

She slowly follows me, pressing her fingers to my chest.

Can she feel my heart pounding?

“I’m sorry.”

“It happens.”

“Not to me.” I drag in a much-needed breath. “I wasn’t thinking.”

She turns to her side and slides a finger down my cheek. “It’s okay. I think, or at least I hope, this where we’ve been heading? We just hadn’t had the conversation yet.”

“That’s not the point. I didn’t give you the choice. I was irresponsible.”

“Oh please. If you’re irresponsible, then so am I. I still had more than enough functioning brain cells to tell you to suit up, and I know damn good and well, you’d have complied.”

She’s not wrong. But the guilt of unprotected sex weighs heavy. I haven’t gone without a condom in over ten years. Long before Hugh.

Fucking Hugh.

42

Beth

We get backto Ottawa Tuesday night and Lachlan takes me to my apartment.

“Do you want to stay tonight?” I ask as I open my front door.

He exhales roughly. “I should go find Hugh.”

“I thought we were going to give him some space.” I set my keys on the hall table. Lachlan sets my bag by my bedroom door, then sets his hands on my shoulders. “We are. About us. But I need to make sure that we are okay about work, too.”

Right. I flush. “Of course, I wasn’t thinking.”

“It can wait until tomorrow if you’d rather.”

I shake my head. It’s better if Lachlan lets Hugh know as soon as possible that we want to see him at work, as friends, whatever he wants, however he wants it. And I’m planning on going to work tomorrow, too. Gavin won’t be back for another week, so I could take the rest of the week as vacation.

If I did that, I’d be hiding.

And how can we go about secretly seducing him back into our fold if we don’t see him?

“Go and talk to him, then. You’re right. He needs to be reassured this won’t blow back on him.”

He kisses me quickly. “I’ll call you once I’m home.”

That call comes just forty-five minutes later.

“Hey,” I say as I answer the phone.

“He didn’t even let me into his apartment.”

“I’m sorry.” I sit heavily on my bed. “What did he say? How did he look?”

“He looked good.” Lachlan huffs a frustrated laugh. “I wanted him to look like shit, but no such luck. And he didn’t say much. He apologized again, but it was like he was just trying to shut down the conversation. He relaxed a bit when I told him I just wanted to talk about work. He’s back on the schedule tomorrow, but at the residence, and he’s there until the PM gets back.”

I nod to myself, absorbing that. So I likely won’t see Hugh until next week. That…makes me sad. I thought I’d be relieved, because it’ll be awkward, but this doesn’t feel right at all. “Is it just me, or does this feel wrong?”