Page 136 of Gone With the Wine

My heart stutters. And literally stops. I try to talk, but my throat is sandpaper. “I won’t hold you back from your dreams. What I want most of all is for you to be happy.”

She gazes back at me, her beautiful face wearing an expression of steady calmness. “I’m not leaving.”

Chapter31

Bianca

Jansen goes very still. His eyes meet mine. His eyes have a tired look about them, but he’s still so rugged and handsome. His striped button-down shirt is open at the throat, giving me a glimpse of that place I love to kiss. I admire his big hands and his strong forearms where he’s rolled the sleeves up.

And he’s on his knees in front of me, apologizing. Am I a fool to believe him? He seems sincere. He seems wrecked that he messed things up. I don’t love that he went to see his ex-wife, but it seems like he needed to hear what she had to say.

And he says he loves me.

Hope is a fluttery feeling in my belly. A floating sensation.

“I’m staying,” I say again.

“Yeah?”

I nod, smiling. “Yeah.”

He lowers his head, resting it on my knees, his big body vibrating with emotion. I slide one hand free of his and thread them through his hair, my heart thrashing wildly. His chest and back expand on his deep inhalations. Then he lifts his head, his eyes blazing, and reaches for me. He stands, taking me with him, and I move into his arms without hesitation because I need to touch him, to feel him, to have his solid strength against me. His heart thuds against me and his hand slides down my spine.

“Are you sure?” he asks. “I don’t want you to give up something that’s important to you.”

“You’re important to me. I love you,” I say quietly. “And I want to be with you. And make wine with you. And go on dirty picnics with you.”

His lips quirk.

“But I’m not staying just for you. I’m staying for me, really. I’d already decided to stay before I came here.” I tell him about my conversations with Millie, Ana, and Rosa, and the things I’ve learned about myself. “And even though I thought you didn’t love me, I had to be brave enough to leave my past in the past and truly commit to my family.”

He nods, and the admiration on his face calms my fears and doubts, “I’m glad. Because I love you, too.”

Emotion swells in my throat, strangling me. I quickly nod. “Good. Because you are my favorite person and I like you a lot, on top of wanting to ride you like a Harley on a bad stretch of road.”

He chokes on a laugh, shaking his head. “Jesus.”

I grin. “Seriously. I’ve told you before how much I admire you. I love how you love Moose. I love how you look out for the people who work for you. I love how you try to answer my crazy questions. I love how you’ve made friends with Nolan and Miles, and I love how everyone who works for you respects you even though you’re totally new at this. I love how you admit what you don’t know. You’re my favorite person.”

For a moment we sit and gaze at each other, my chest feeling light and fizzy, my mouth pulling into a smile that I can’t stop. Jansen smiles too, and I was right the first time he almost smiled—when he smiles a genuine, happy smile it makes me feel like I could float away.

“Let’s go home,” he says, voice husky.

My throat pinches. Home. With him. “Yes.”

At his place,Jansen gets wine glasses and pours us each another glass, but then he leads me into the bedroom.

“I thought we learned our lesson. No wine in bed.”

“Okay, which is it? Wine or bed?”

I press my finger to my lip and look skyward. “Hmmm.” Then I set my wine glass on the dresser and run at him. He catches me, grabbing my ass and I wrap my arms and legs around him and kiss him.

Our mouths join in long, hungry kisses, lush licks, tiny nibbles. I want him so much my bones are melting.

“Yeah,” he whispers against my mouth. “This. You.”

“Mmm.”

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