Page 21 of Never Kiss Your Neighbors

Their posts are fun, and very thirst-trappy.

I find a few about the marshmallow battles, and see that the number of marshmallows in my yard were nothing compared to how many were in theirs. I wonder if any raccoons came in to help them clean up.

The guys may be having good clean fun battling with water blasters and building interesting contraptions, but a quick scroll through the comments makes it clear why they have a large following.

There are countless comments along the lines of: “Take your shirt off!” “Nerfs aren’t the guns we’re here to see,” and in a video where Cam is wearing green lounge pants patterned with a golf ball motif, someone asks, “Can I touch your balls?”

Oh my god, they are definitely not right for me to date, but I have to admit that the videos are pretty tasty.

Among all the smutty stuff, I’m pleased to see they do charitable projects throughout the year. They’ve raised money for breast cancer, children’s health organizations, and several other causes, and a lot of the videos are good, innocent fun, but the ones that are most popular are the spicy ones.

The ones where neither of them are wearing shirts, where they’re flexing muscles, or wearing sweatpants are especially distracting, but they’re not overtly sexual. They’re not porn by any stretch of the imagination, and there’s nothing on their channel, outside of the comments, that’s NSFW.

For the most part, they’re just being their own handsome, fun selves and viewers are focusing more on their looks than whatever else the men are doing.

I can’t blame the viewers. There’s one video of the men shirtless, playing catch with a baseball, but the way their muscles work, and the strength of their upper bodies, is simply mesmerizing.

I let it replay more times than I’d care to admit.

After a while, I make a show of yawning, announce that I’m tired, and say goodnight to Marissa. Then I go to my room and enjoy more of the videos in private.

I’m sure I’m smiling while I’m watching, even though I try not to.

After I get ready for bed, I return to their videos. It’s fascinating how their personalities come through in the short clips, even when they’re not saying much.

Cam makes eye contact with the camera, so it looks like he’s talking directly to a viewer. He’s so charming and personable, even on the small screen of my phone, that it feels like he’s talking to me and me only. It’s easy to see why they’ve grown such a big following.

There are plenty of shirtless dudes on the internet, but the Battle Duel Boys have a special charisma.

While Cam lays on the charm, even winking at the camera in many of the reels, Wyatt is usually more focused on whatever silly thing they’re doing. He appears reluctant to flaunt his body, while Cam purposely holds items right in front of his chest, drawing attention to his pecs in such a blatant way.

There’s a video of them building two Adirondack chairs, which they later auction for charity, that really showcases this difference, with Wyatt focusing on the craftsmanship, and Cam focusing on looking as hot as he can while building his chair.

The funny thing is, he doesn’t need to try. His body is gorgeous, and draws attention all on its own.

I’m startled when I notice the time. I’m up way past my bedtime, thanks to these videos. I scrolled much farther than I planned to.

Typically, I fall asleep while I’m looking at something on my phone in bed, but the men kept me awake and engaged.

I check that my alarm is set and put my phone on the nightstand. I still feel too, umm, stimulated to fall asleep, but I do a bit of relaxing breathing, then replay some of their videos in my head, and I start to feel drowsy.

The next thing I know, I’m lying atop a huge pile of pillows, almost like a cloud, and Cam and Wyatt are with me. Cam has his shirt off, of course, and Wyatt’s wearing a backwards baseball cap.

Each of them is holding a bag of marshmallows, and they take turns dangling them one by one near my mouth, teasing my lips with the puffy white treats.

I eat a ridiculous amount of them, but I don’t have to chew in my dream, and I never get full. There’s just a pleasant sensation of the sweet, soft, pillowly texture on my lips.

When the men run out of marshmallows, they’re very resourceful. They keep my mouth busy by kissing me.

They take turns giving me tender kisses that gradually turn hotter and spicier. But as I’m kissing Cam, a bee starts flying around, and I swat at it with one hand, while keeping a firm grip on Cam’s strong shoulder with the other.

No matter how vigorously I wave my hand, the buzzing bee won’t go away. Its buzz gets so loud, it sounds more like an insistent beeping, and I get the idea that I need to kiss Cam faster, because time is running out.

Oh shit!I squint at the morning sun that’s streaming into my bedroom and reach out to slap at my phone screen until the alarm finally stops. How did it get to be morning already? I just fell asleep.

And my dream was just getting good.

Oh god, I was dreaming about the neighbors.I feel vaguely guilty about that, but also … very turned on.

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