Page 35 of Emma's Element

His fist flew through the air until it connected with the molding surrounding the window. The pain went unnoticed as images and words flashed through his mind. Emma, all color leached from her beautiful face as she read Mallow’s vile text. Phrases like whore, strumpet, and slut cluttered his thoughts. His sweet Emma was nothing like Mallow was attempting to portray her. Neither had Marci, and look what happened to her. It was better to end things with Emma before things went any further.

But fuck, he didn’t want to. He’d found something good here. With the Nighthawks. With Emma. It had taken him years to come to grips with his fame. To accept that his life was no longer private, and it had been a horrible experience. He’d learned to shut himself off from the world. To keep hisrealself hidden. They were never going to get to him again, nor someone he cared about. Especially if he stayed as he was . . . alone. He could never ask anyone to go through what he had experienced. Not for him. It would be too painful to watch them suffer.

A knock at the door penetrated his musings. He’d debated briefly not answering, but Hollywood hadn’t completely erased all the manners his mother had taught him. Looking through the window in the door, he saw Graham standing there. He took a deep breath, preparing himself for the berating he was sure to receive. He’d treated Emma badly, and was completely aware of it.

Marcus opened the door to let him inside. “Graham.”

“Marcus,” Graham answered. “You should have called me.”

“Sorry?” Marcus was confused. Calling Graham would not have changed anything that had happened.

“Here’s what you need to understand, Marcus. The Nighthawks are a family. And if one of us is hurting, we all hurt.”

He winced. “I didn’t mean to hurt Emma,” he muttered, ashamed of himself. He closed his eyes and lowered his head. The last thing he wanted was for Emma to be upset.

“I’m not talking about her.”

Stunned, his head shot up to find Graham’s ice-blue eyes staring intently at him. “I’m not a Nighthawk.”

“You’re as much of a Nighthawk as Natalie.”

Marcus ran a hand through his hair and tried a different tactic. “Fine. I’m a Nighthawk. And Nighthawks protect their family. What do you think I’m trying to do here?”

“Okay, yes. I get that. But as a group, we can protect each other from whatever will come. And we can protect you,” Graham insisted.

“And what about Emma?”

“Her too.”

“You don’t understand. If she’s even spotted walking beside me, they will tear her to shreds. They will pick apart her life bit by bit, year by year. They will find every last intimate detail about her. Who her first boyfriend was. Who she lost her virginity to. Hell, they’ll even find out what brand of tampon she uses.

“Then they’ll delve into her family. They will plaster the tabloids with the story of her mother’s death. They will love that story. The little girl who lost her mother and was raised by her father, whom she loved more than anything. Then they’ll report on his tragic death. They’ll dissect that until they know every detail, down to the clothes he was wearing. Do you really want her to go through all that pain and grief again?”

“No, but . . .”

“And don’t get me started on what they would do to her personally. Anytime she’d be spotted out somewhere, they would pick apart everything about her. What she wore, how her hair looked. Even how she walked. Smiled. Whatever!”

“Let me tell you what you don’t understand.” The severity of Graham’s firm voice had caught his attention. “That woman has had more shit thrown at her than even you know about, and she perseveres. She’s a survivor and one of the strongest people I’ve ever known. She doesn’t let her past baggage weigh her down. Even after the shit she went through last year, she is still fierce, kind, and generous. She was willing to walk through the fire again for you. That should tell you something about her strength. Emma doesn’t care about any of that shit that those vapid starlets in Hollywood care about. She’s confident in who she is. She is resilient and will let any criticism she gets roll off her back.”

Marcus tried to listen to Graham’s words, but certain things he’d said stuck out. “What are you talking about? What happened last year?” He’d wondered if there was a story she was hiding from him. He’d seen it in her eyes. He’d wanted to push her for more answers but thought she’d tell him what was behind the sadness in her eyes eventually. They’d just run out of time.

“You will have to ask her yourself. It is not my place to tell. Suffice it to say, she’d fought her way through hell, all alone, once before. This time, she’s got us at her back.” Graham paused and leveled Marcus with a penetrating stare. “But does she have you?”

“There is no fighting them. They will follow her everywhere. So much that she will decide it was safer to just stay inside. And that would truly kill her as much as it has me all these years.

“I don’t follow.”

“Emma is like me; she thrives when she can be in nature. She’s in her element there. All those years she spent with her dad exploring the great outdoors; she loves mountain climbing. She loves hiking. She loves the lakes. She would never be able to enjoy those peacefully again. She’d always be looking over her shoulder for the vultures. I love the outdoors as much as Emma. But I never get to enjoy it anymore. It became easier, safer to stay inside. I could never ask that of her.”

“Don’t you think you should let her make that decision for herself?”

“And what if she decides she’s willing to put up with all that shit for me? And little by little, the tabloids chip away at her until she’s left as a shell of her former self. What if she’s driven to drink her feelings away or turns to other vices that could destroy who she is? I couldn’t stand to see that happen. Could you?”

“No. No, I couldn’t, but we’d all be there to see that doesn’t happen to her. Besides, she’s too fierce to let some idiot’s words bring her that low. Don’t you deserve to be happy too?”

“I made my bed. Now I have to lie in it. I’m still under contract with the studio. Filming starts next month for the third Titan movie. I might as well leave now before I get any deeper into your lives. It’s easier this way,” Marcus said sadly. “I appreciate everything you and the Nighthawks have done for me. You’ll never know what this time has meant to me. I wish things could be different.” He held out his hand to Graham, who shook it.

“Yeah, me too.”

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