Page 30 of Emma's Element

He was still musing it over twenty minutes later as he drove them towards town. He had thought about what his presence in Lake Haven would mean for the people who he’d come to care about a great deal; he’d just wanted to ignore it for a while longer. Word would get out about where he’d been hiding and who he’d been hiding with. He was surprised it hadn’t already gotten out; the paparazzi was relentless when it came to following him. He was avoiding the reality of his life, hoping to stay in denial for as long as possible so that he could have a little something just to himself.

It was selfish of him, and he should remove himself from their lives before everything exploded. But he didn’t want to. He’d hoped to find a way to make this work while still protecting the Nighthawks, and most especially Emma.

He still worried over it as he sat with the Nighthawks, trying to enjoy another one of Jolene’s fabulous burgers. Unfortunately, his appetite wasn’t cooperating. After granting a few autographs and selfies, the other patrons of the restaurant left him alone. But he knew that even now, they were posting to social media. Word was going to spread about his location. And when it did, his sojourn would be over. He wouldn’t be able to stay in Lake Haven. He wouldn’t be able to continue with the Nighthawks. He’d been an idiot to think this could have ever lasted. An idiot to even attempt to have a normal life in the first place.

The food tasted like sawdust in his mouth as his thoughts raced. He glanced around at the people?the family?that had so readily accepted him. For a short time, he’d been a member of that family, and he was grateful. He would leave this place knowing that he’d been part of something genuine. And yet, he would leave this place with regrets.

Regret that he could never have the life he craved; he could never have what Graham and Natalie had together. And he yearned for that more than anything. While he loved acting, the celebrity that came along with it grew tiresome. He needed to figure out a way to find a happy medium. He needed to find a way to continue the acting that he loved while at the same time keeping his privacy. To have a private life that could someday include someone special. Someone to share his life with. Someone like Emma.

Marcus observed Emma as she laughed with her friends. She was so full of life. So naturally beautiful, it made his heart clench. She was everything he’d been searching for all these years. His missing element. And the thought of having to walk away from her filled him with despair. Kneading his chest to alleviate the ache, his thoughts circled around and around. He wanted to find a way to make it work with Emma, but he didn’t want what had transpired with Marci to happen to her. It would kill him to watch Emma become a former shell of herself as the paparazzi bombarded her. But with the taste of her still on his lips, he wished with all his heart things could be different. If he could only find a way . . .

She glanced his way, merriment shining in her soulful doe eyes. And when she smiled at him, his heart cracked. How in the world was he ever going to walk away from everything her beautiful eyes could promise? He had to. There was no way around it; he couldn’t allow the vultures who circled him to crush her spirit.

But he could still enjoy a few more hours in her company. He attempted to shake off his moroseness and joined in on the laughter. As he walked her home, he kept a respectable distance between them, but it was as if their bodies were connected by an invisible magnet. They drifted closer to each other as they strolled until their shoulders were brushing. The silence stretched between them, Emma occasionally glancing at him through her lashes.

“Are you okay?” she asked, worry marring her features. “You seemed to be a thousand miles away tonight.”

He took hold of her hand, an action that felt natural. He lifted her hand to his lips. “I’m fine. Just have a lot on my mind tonight.”

“Want to talk about it?” They had arrived at her building and stood in front of the door facing each other. He reached out and brushed a strand of hair away from the corner of her eye, and she leaned into his hand ever so slightly, momentarily closing her eyes. God, that was such a turn-on. It was a simple gesture but made his heart hammer hard in his chest.

“Nah,” he answered. “It’s nothing important.”

Her eyes narrowed as she studied him as if deciding whether to press the issue or let it drop. He was relieved when she let it go. “Come upstairs with me a moment,” she said, pulling out her keys. “I want to show you something.”

He would love nothing more than to go upstairs with Emma, but it would be a colossal mistake. He knew that, and yet he couldn’t stop his feet from following her inside and up the stairs to her apartment. He glanced around as she closed the door behind him, noticing the plants in all shapes, sizes, and varieties everywhere. And all unbelievably healthy.

“I know. Too many plants,” she said, noting where his gaze had landed. “Guess it’s just my way of bringing nature inside.”

“I’m just jealous since I kill all my plants simply by looking at them.”

“Gardening was something my dad and I always did together,” she said, a sad smile on her lips. “The lemon tree in the corner was his baby.” She pointed out the lemon tree, which had a few bright yellow fruits growing on its branches. “Wait here a sec while I go get what I wanted to show you.”

While she was gone, he wandered around the room, learning more about her as a person. She valued friendship, as was evidenced by the numerous pictures of her with her friends, both old and new. And she treasured family. There were several pictures of her with her father out on their adventures. But it was the picture of her as a baby with both her parents that caught his attention. She was in her mother’s arms, one little hand reaching toward the woman who looked so like the adult Emma of today. Both women were tall, both had those soulfully dark eyes, and both had an infectious smile. And her father was obviously in love with both his girls as he gazed down at them with blatant affection shining in his eyes. That picture was the idyllic dream. One he’d had far too often lately.

“You found my favorite picture,” she said softly from behind him.

“They look so happy. So much in love,” he remarked.

Emma moved beside him and smiled. The love she had for them was shining in her eyes. “They were.”

“How did she die?”

“Cancer. She was diagnosed soon after this picture was taken. It hit her hard and fast. Six months and she was gone. I don’t think my dad ever recovered,” she finished sadly.

“I’m sorry,” he said, wondering what it would be like to love like that.

She shrugged off the sadness, “Anyway, here.” She handed him a small movie poster. It was of the Three Musketeers movie he’d done around seven years ago. And it was signed by him and the rest of the actors. His first big blockbuster.

He’d caught the acting bug early in life and had auditioned for anything and everything growing up. He’d earned his degree in acting at Penn State. And as soon as that diploma was in his hands, he’d headed off to Hollywood. His mom had been gone for over a year, and his brother appeared to be following in their deadbeat father’s shoes. There had been nothing tying him to Happy Valley any more. He’d packed up his old truck and headed across the country. It had taken five years of hard work, but he’d gotten his first big break when he was cast as d’Artagnan in The Three Musketeers. D’Artagnan had been his catalyst into stardom.

But the superhero movie put him on a whole other level. Playing the Titan in that movie had made him a household name. He hadn’t understood what it was to be a celebrity until that movie had been released. In a few short weeks, the second movie was set to open, and he was contractually obligated for one more after that. His thirty-four-year-old self was exhausted just thinking about it.

He laughed at his younger self in the poster. “So, we’ve met before. Where was this from?”

“It was a convention in Chicago a friend dragged me to. And since I had a thing for the guy who played Porthos at the time, I didn’t complain about the hours spent waiting in line.”

“Seriously? Him?” he grumbled, surprised. The guy had been a pain to work with. Marcus had been relieved when they’d wrapped filming, thinking he wouldn’t have to work with him ever again. But then came the press tour and, since the movie had been such a success, the convention tours. “He was an ass.”

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