Page 79 of Annika's Aurora

“Oh God, Mom! I was so scared. If I’d lost him again … I don’t know if …”

“Shh,” Johanna said, hugging her daughter close to her again. “You didn’t lose him, and you never will.”

They held each other quietly for a time. “Go home, Annika,” Johanna urged. “Get some rest. I promise you he’s not going anywhere. Even if I have to tie him down.”

“You’ll call me as soon as he wakes up?” she asked, needing more reassurance.

“Of course. Now go.” Annika stood and leaned over Logan to kiss his cheek, then did the bravest thing she’d ever done. She turned her back on him and left the room.

Logan opened his eyes as soon as he heard the door click shut. “I really messed up when it came to her, didn’t I, Mama Jo?” He’d heard every word of their conversation. The fear and panic in Annika’s voice breaking his heart. He’d had no idea that his leaving the hospital all those years ago without saying goodbye caused a fear that rooted itself deep inside her.

“Yes, you did, Kiddo. But you have the rest of your life to make it up to her. And sacrificing your own life for hers is a good start,” she teased with a wink. “Just don’t make a habit of it.”

“Did you know how much she’d been struggling back then? Back when she tried to …” He couldn’t say the words.

“I knew she was still grieving for both of you. But she’d been so full of joy, since the moment she was born. I could never have imagined that the girl I knew who was like light itself could possibly gothere. I didn’t think the light had completely gone out.”

“I read the letter Papa J found. She’d written it just before she made the attempt.” Johanna gasped.

“I’m so sorry. We had no idea that letter was from that time. We’d just found it behind a drawer in her desk. It had your name on it. If we had known what the letter was about, we would have burned it.”

Logan tried to sit up higher in the bed, wincing in pain. Johanna brought another pillow over to him and placed it behind him. “No, I needed to read it. I needed to know what she was going through. I needed to understand how my actions had affected her, to come to grips with my mistakes. I’m ashamed to say I nearly made the biggest mistake of my life after reading it, but my boss straightened me out. Still, it wasn’t easy reading her words.”

“Yeah, it wasn’t so easy experiencing that in person either,” Johanna said sadly, and he felt a pang in his heart for what they’d all gone through.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

“She fought hard after that. You should have seen her. She was determined to recover and move on. I’d never been so proud,” she whispered.

“She told me Jamie came to her.” Johanna seemed surprised by that information. He wondered why Annika had never told her.

“Really? She never said anything to me about it.”

“Knowing her, she was probably worried you’d think she was crazy.”

“True. That sounds like her.” She sighed. “Did she tell you what he said to her?”

“He came to her just after she’d … done it. When she was in the tub. He told her to hold on, that help was coming. I guess he meant you. She said you found her.” Johanna nodded, tears in her eyes. “I’m sorry, Mama Jo; I can’t imagine what that must have been like for you.”

“I won’t lie, it was scary as hell. But we survived.”

“Jamie also told her that she needed to be patient just a little bit longer. That I was going to find my way back to her.”

Johanna’s eyes grew wide with wonder. “Really?”

He nodded then paused remembering Annika had told him his grandmother had said something similar to her before she died. “Thank you for what you did for my grandmother,” he suddenly felt compelled to say, feeling ashamed he hadn’t paid more attention to the old woman who’d raised him.

She waved off his gratitude. “It’s what family does.” And for Johanna, it was as simple as that.

“Thank you, Mama Jo,” he said, squeezing her hand. “Thank you for reaching out again and being so patient with me.”

“Thankyoufor finally answering me.”

“I’m sorry it took me so long.”

“Why did you finally answer?”

He shrugged, a mistake that sent pain radiating through his body. “I don’t know, really. I guess I just thought I was making all these drastic changes in my life, quitting the teams, joining Nighthawk, moving back here; it was time to fix the mistakes of the past. I just didn’t know how to begin.”

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