Page 72 of Annika's Aurora

The paintings were equally as stunning as the ones hanging in the living room. Natalie, it seemed, preferred to work with birds as her subject. They were everywhere. All different shapes and sizes. A current project sat on an easel in the center of the room. In it was a chickadee perched on a branch staring into the sky, watching a larger bird with a white stripe on each wing. The details she’d painted in the feathers was amazing. Even the light around the birds was remarkable. They looked as if they could jump off the canvas and fly away.

Annika’s eye was drawn to another painting in the corner. This was another chickadee but deformed, twisted … broken. Its beak open as if crying out in pain or fear. A dark swirling vortex made up the background. Sudden tears clouded her vision. It was as if Natalie had painted how she’d felt right before she’d made that suicide attempt. A quote from August Wilson popped into her head. "Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing." She'd spent so many years wrestling with her demon but in recent years, she felt confident her angels were singing.

Natalie, having observed Annika’s reaction to the painting, said, “I wanted you to know, Graham saw your scars on your wrist.” Annika paused in the process of swiping a tear away, suddenly fearful her new friends would judge her for her moment of weakness. “Don’t worry,” she rushed on to assure her. “No one else knows except for Maddie. I only wanted to say something because I’ve been there.”

“You have?”

“Yes. I was a freshman in high school. The school weirdo. The artist. My parents had rejected me. My classmates avoided me. It was a very lonely time.”

“You two seem close.”

“We are now, but back then, we were like oil and water. Polar opposites. I wondered why it was even worth it. I found my mother’s sleeping pills, and I’d taken four of them before stopping myself. I didn’t want to die. I liked who I was. And if other people couldn’t accept me as I was, then screw them. I just wanted you to know I understand that kind of darkness.”

Annika looked away. “It was a long time ago.”

“So was mine. But it never completely goes away.”

“No, I guess it doesn’t.”

“No, it doesn’t,” Maddie agreed.

Natalie stared at her in shock. “You too?”

“Yeah, me too.”

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

“I’m not sure,” Maddie admitted. “I guess I felt as the bigger sister I should lead by example. I didn’t want you to worry more than you already were about me. It was just a fleeting thought in college.”

“What stopped you?” Natalie wondered.

“Surprisingly … David.”

“David?” Natalie squeaked. “You talked to David all the way back in college?”

“I ran into him on campus once. I looked up as I was making my way across campus, and there he was. He recognized me and smiled. You know that smile of his, the one that looks like he has a secret joke to share. He was happy to see me. He walked with me for a while, and we chatted. He didn’t try to do the thing that most people tend to do when with someone in a wheelchair. He didn’t try to push me. He just walked beside me. It was … refreshing.”

“That sounds like David,” Natalie mused.

“He asked if he could take me out for coffee. I had to get to class, so we agreed to meet up the next day. Talking to him was like chatting with a best friend. It had been a long time since I had a good friend. No offense, Natalie.”

“None taken. I know what you mean.”

“He told me I looked more beautiful than he remembered. Do you know how long it had been since anyone had said anything like that to me? I know it seems superficial, but when you grow up hearing it all the time, and then you lose it … you lose a part of yourself. After that, we talked all the time. I even tutored him in his math classes. And we’ve kept in touch over the years. I’ve never told him what he did for me. He saved my life just by caring. By being himself.”

“You’ve been in touch with him all these years? Why didn’t you say anything?”

“You always got so sad when any of us mentioned any of the Whitakers; I figured there was a reason for that. I didn’t think you’d be happy that I was talking with David.”

“Just how close are you and David?”

Maddie blushed, a pretty pink color flooding her cheeks. “We’re just friends.”

“But you wish for more?” Annika speculated.

Maddie sighed. “Umm, no. It’s not like that. He’s like a brother to me. Besides, he’s so much younger than me.”

Natalie snorted. “It’s only three years. That’s nothing.”

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