“I knew when I asked you for those promises that they were unrealistic and unreasonable. I knew that there was no way you could keep a promise like that. Life is unpredictable.”
“Yes, but I was reckless. I never should have gone after him like that. Never should have let my emotions get the better of me. I was trained better than that,” he sighed. “I was just so tired of dealing with assholes like that all the time. So tired of that place. So tired of fighting. I lost control.”
“I bet, given the chance, any one of your teammates would have loved to have a piece of him as well,” she remarked.
“It was irresponsible. I put my team at risk, and I put that aid group at risk. Instead of extracting the hostages quickly, we had to stop and tend to my injuries. Any number of things could have gone wrong then.”
“That could have happened to any of you at any time. Did you get the hostages out?”
“Yes.”
“Did your teammates have to carry your body out?”
“No.”
“Then it sounds like a successful mission,” she reasoned. “And if I remember the news reports, that SEAL team were heralded as heroes. So, stop being so hard on yourself.” She gave him a little slap on the shoulder as a reprimand.
Logan grabbed her and pulled her around him until she was sprawled across his lap. “Heart of gold. How can you always be so forgiving?”
“It takes less energy to forgive than to live in regret.”
“Wise woman,” he said before he leaned over and kissed her. He held her tight, her head resting against his chest. He sensed something was bothering her as she went quiet and still. “What’s the matter?” He raised her chin to see the sadness in her eyes.
“I was just thinking … If you had died then, would I have even known?”
“Yes. After Grandma Jean died, I changed my next of kin notification to you and your parents.” Her eyes met his in shock. “I knew that no matter how mad you all might have been with me, you would have taken care of me. It gave me comfort knowing that even though I was alone in life, I wouldn’t have been alone in death.”
“Oh, Logan, you were never alone in life. We were always here. Always praying for you.” Overwhelmed with emotions, he held her tightly to his chest, his worry over his issues pushed aside for the moment.
Chapter 20
ThealertofanincomingtextonLogan’sphonesoundedjustashewasslidinghishandupunderAnnika’sshirt.Theyweremakingoutliketeenagersagaininthearmchair,evendowntothelightpettingtheywereenjoying.Itwasanothermemoryinthischairthatwouldstaywithhimforever.
Reluctantly, Logan broke the kiss and pulled the phone out of his pocket. “I’m sorry. I have to take this. I never know when the team will be called out.”
“I understand,” she said, but Logan saw the worry in her eyes.
He read the text. “It’s Graham. He needs me for this one. Is that okay?” He wasn’t sure how she’d feel about him leaving her alone. This was all still so new for them.
“Of course, it’s okay, Logan. It’s your job, and you’re needed.” She looked suddenly nervous, and the guilt hit him again that there was nothing he could do to ease her worries.
“I don’t know how long I’ll be. Don’t wait up.” He stood and leaned down to give her a brief kiss before walking away. He couldn’t help but look back at her one more time before grabbing his pack and opening the door. She still sat in the chair, staring out the window biting her fingernail, her fear evident. He felt a pang as once again he was causing her pain.
“Sorry to pull you away,” Graham apologized again as Logan piloted the RIB downriver. “But we need your frogman skills for this one.”
“Don’t apologize. I’m happy to help. And, oh yeah, it’s my job.” Graham had briefed the team at the dock. Boaters in distress and taking on water. But they received an update en route.
“The water levels are high from the recent snows,” Graham explained. “The boat has sunk completely. The passengers are trapped in the cabin in a pocket of air. No idea how much longer they will have that pocket.”
“Why didn’t they try to get out?” Jude asked.
“From what I understand, something happened to the door in the cabin, and they couldn’t open it. I have a present for you, Logan.” Graham picked up a bag at his feet and unzipped it holding it open for Logan to see inside.
Logan smiled. The bag held just enough plastic explosives for him to create a small underwater detonation to blow the door open if necessary. No wonder his SEAL skills were needed.
Logan gestured for Finch to take the helm so that he could get his scuba gear ready. He and Jude stripped down to their skivvies to don their wetsuits. After pulling the zipper up the back, he knelt to check his equipment. Jude did the same. Ascertaining that the tank and hoses were all in excellent condition, he proceeded to don the gear. Logan then did the rest of the safety checks, made sure he had good airflow, checked the regulator and gauges. Then checked his dive light. It was going to be murky down there, he needed to make sure the light was in proper working condition. Then he checked the spare gear they would be taking with them to get the passengers out of their submerged boat.
Taking the bag of C4, he began to assemble what he needed to blow the door, grateful to have something to take his mind off of his worries about Annika.