Page 61 of Annika's Aurora

Sitting up a little taller, willing the nausea away, she peered over the edge of the boat. Water rippled against the hull, so much water, as far as she could see. Something loomed out of the darkness to her right. The clang of metal on metal penetrated her mind. The base of whatever was hitting her boat was perfectly round. A teepee of metal poles that she noticed earlier rose from the middle. An image was assembling itself in her mind as she stared at the blinking light at the top.No! Thatcouldn’tbe right.

A buoy. The boat was tied to a buoy in the middle of Lake Michigan. Panic threatened to crawl up inside her, but she tamped it down. From what she could remember of buoys, they seemed pretty solid, but she didn’t like the way the boat kept scraping and banging against it. The water seemed calm at the moment, so she probably wouldn’t tip over and drown; at least, she hoped she wouldn’t.

Unless there was a bad storm.

Why did you have to go there!Racking her brain, she tried to remember the weather report. If she recalled it correctly, she thought it was supposed to be clear. Sighing in frustration, she tilted her head back against the seat she was lashed to. What was she going to do? How could she get out of this one? Logan must be frantic by now. And her parents. Oh, God! Her parents. Could they survive losing another child?

One thing was certain; Logan wouldn’t stop looking for her. And, she figured, neither would the Nighthawks. They were his family. They would do everything in their power to help Logan. But would they be on time? It was December on the lake. The temperatures were warmer than they had been the previous week, but it was still probably in the mid-forties. How long before she succumbed to hypothermia?

Another certainty she had; Logan would again blame himself for another death. Her heart ached for him. He carried too much guilt with him, and it was unnecessary. He was blameless for everything. She hoped someday he’d be able to forgive himself for everything. Even this.

She opened her eyes and looked at the sky. “Oh!” she exclaimed in awe. The sky was awash with the Aurora Borealis. A delicate light that hung in fragile curtains. The mesmerizing streaks of light danced across the dark backdrop of God’s stage. She’d always wanted to see the Aurora but could never get away from the city lights to see it properly. Here, in the middle of the lake, there was no light pollution. It was stunning!

“Gee, maybe you should have tied yourself to a buoy years ago.”

How she wished she had her hands free so she could take pictures with her phone if she even had her phone with her anymore. The colors were amazing. Flickering flames of greens and blues. Then there were the purple and pink accents. So many colors. God was showing off for her tonight. And she was grateful for the distraction from her predicament as the cold penetrated and the trembling started. Teeth chattering, she concentrated solely on the colors blanketing the sky. Of course, she turned to her books. “‘In colors of rose and lavender and purple, it moved and pulsed against the night, and the frost-sharpened stars shone through it. What a thing to see at a time when I needed it so badly!’” How had Steinbeck known?

Chapter 16

NearlytwelvehourshadpassedsinceAnnikahaddisappeared.NobodyhadreportedseeingPetersenorAnnika.Logan’shopewaswaning,buthewouldneverstoplooking.Ever.Histeammatestriedtogethimtorest,andMaryshovedsomefoodathimwhenhestoppedbythehouseforanupdatesincereceptionwasspottyinsomeoftheareashewassearching.Finchhadtogroundthehelicopterwhenitbecametoodarktoseeanything,promisingtogobackupassoonasitwaslightenough.Buttheystillhadnoideawheretostart.

In the last few hours, he’d studied everything he could find on Rob Petersen. He knew where he was born, grew up, got married, worked and played. He’d stalked him on social media ‘till he knew what his favorite clubs and organizations were, and who he considered friends. The man had been a dedicated employee for Midco engineering and an avid fisherman until his wife died. When he lost her, he lost everything at the bottom of a bottle. Tin Man had spent the day contacting all of Petersen’s friends, including his fellow members of the Southwest Michigan Steelheaders, a fisherman’s association. But no one had seen much of him since he was laid off.

The maps were spread out in front of him on the kitchen table. He stared at them, hoping for inspiration, but nothing was jumping out at him. They were searching blind.

Just like in Afghanistan when those aid workers had gone missing, kidnapped by a group of Taliban fighters. Logan and a few of his teammates had hung out with them from time to time, enjoying the shared experience of being an American trying to make a difference in a war zone. Hell, he’d even slept with one of them in a moment of weakness. What was her name? Nancy … no Nicki. That was it.

He remembered poring over maps with his CO as he was now, trying to put himself in the Taliban’s place. He remembered wondering where the most logical place to have taken them from the school would be. There had been a sense of hopelessness then too. But nothing like the current feeling.

There had been a bit of panic to find them before the worst happened and he remembered being worried for Nicki. But his feelings for her were nowhere near as intense as they were for Annika. He hadn’t loved Nicki.

And that’s what was making the hollow feeling in his chest so much worse. He was in love with Annika. Always had been. Always will be. That explained why the desperation to find her was more extreme. The outcome for the aid workers had been good. The analysts studying the drone footage had managed to find the hide-out and his SEAL team mounted the rescue operation. Mission accomplished, Nicki went home, and he hadn’t heard from her since, both understanding what they had was a momentary fling.

But Annika. Everything was different with Annika. He’d lived so long with the pain and sorrow of knowing what it felt like to live without her. But now he knew what it felt like to love her, and he knew she was his one. The one who understood him and wouldn’t let him get away with shit. The one who saw the stains on his soul and wanted him anyway. The one who only had to smile to light up his world. And when she cried, he wanted to tear the world apart to shield her from life’s hardships. Even after everything he’d put her through, she had given herself to him willingly. A fact that humbled him and drove him to want to take care of her in every way.

He choked back an anguished sob and dropped his head into his hands. How could he have failed so miserably to protect her? He knew Petersen was unstable and worried that he might snap. And for some reason, Petersen seemed fixated on his relationship with Annika.Dumbass, he hissed to himself. How could he have left her alone? How could he have neglected to shield the first and only woman he’d ever loved?

Jamie would be so disappointed in him, a thought that made him hang his head. Nobody had messed with Jamie Northrup’s sister, but that was mostly because they feared Jamie’s best friend. Logan would have beaten the crap out of anybody who’d tried to hurt Annika. And if he ever got his hands on Petersen … It wouldn’t end well for him.

Annika believed wholeheartedly that her brother had reached out to her a time or two from the great unknown. Maybe … it couldn’t hurt to put it out there and hope the universe was listening.Where is she, Jamie? He closed his eyes and listened for a moment. Nothing but the hum of the heat flowing through the vents.Thanks a lot, man.

Staring at the maps again, Logan tried to put himself in Petersen’s mind. Where was the most logical place for him to have taken her? Logan would have guessed the river where Carlie died, but he’d searched it for hours yesterday, covering miles and miles with no sign of anything. He stood now at the table, overwhelmed by helplessness. He brought his fist down hard on the table in frustration. Johanna, having just entered the room after Jansen had insisted she lay down for a while, saw his frustration and went to him. She stood beside him and wrapped an arm around his waist. He put his arm around her shoulders and hugged her to him.

“It will be okay,” she assured him.

“How?”

“I have faith. You’ll find her.” She seemed so sure. Did she really understand the massive undertaking this shitstorm was? For all he knew, she could be in Canada by now. How do you search for someone without knowinganything?

He let out a frustrated breath. “And what if I can’t, Mama Jo?”

She smiled at the special name he’d always called her. “You will!”

“But if I can’t. I can’t lose another person I love. I barely survived losing Jamie. But with Annika …” he couldn’t finish the thought as anguish washed over him. He never wanted to imagine a world without Annika. Even when he had exiled himself from them, he was always comforted by the fact that she was out there, alive and well. If he never found her … If he never knew what happened to her … How could he go on?

“I know, kiddo. But don’t give up hope. I’m going to make you something to eat.” She moved off to the kitchen.

“That’s not necessary.”

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