Page 46 of Annika's Aurora

Of all the things she thought Suzanna’s parents had to say to her, this was certainly not one of them. “Yes, I … I tried.”

“You held her hand the entire time?” Mr. Hoffsteader then asked.

“I think so. Some moments are still a little blurry.”

“They told us you held her as she … died.”

The sting of sudden tears struck, and Annika fought to keep them back. “Yes,” she replied, then she burst. “I’m sorry. I tried. I really did. I tried so hard to get help for her. It just wasn’t good enough. I’m so sorry.” She squeezed her eyes closed and lowered her head, profound grief and guilt overwhelming her. Warm arms encircled her, on opening her eyes, she saw Mrs. Hoffsteader. The woman had wrapped her in a comforting mother’s embrace, and Annika could do nothing but accept it.

“It was good enough,” she whispered in Annika’s ear. “My Suzanna had someone who loved her by her side when she passed. That’s all we could have asked for. You must have been suffering so much with your own injuries, but you wouldn’t leave her. They told us you even refused treatment until they had seen to Suzanna. You didn’t have to do any of that, but you did. Your mother mentioned your heart of gold, and I, for one, am indebted to you for your care of my daughter with your golden heart.” She stepped back and wiped her own tears away, then reached back to her husband, who handed her a small box.

“This was Suzanna’s. We gave it to her on her sixteenth birthday. We want you to have it.” She handed the box to Annika. Inside was a gold heart necklace carved with a beautifully intricate scrolling pattern.

She looked up at them, stunned. “I can’t take this.”

“You can, and you will. She would have wanted you to have it. She spoke of you so often and with so much joy. You are the one responsible for opening her up and allowing her to soar. We will forever be grateful for you.”

Annika was at a loss for words. Just like Logan and his guilt, she had always assumed that Suzanna’s family would blame her. Yet here they were offering a gift. Something that had belonged personally to their daughter. They had given their permission to forgive herself. She looked at the family through misty eyes at a loss for words. This was Suzanna’s legacy. They had just given her a truly wonderful gift?their absolution. For the first time since Caleb had entered her classroom all those weeks ago, she felt like she could breathe. She hugged them then, all three of them.

“You’re Macey, right?” Annika turned to the teenager, who looked so like Suzanna that it was remarkable.

“Yes,” she said quietly.

“Suzanna told me all about you. She was excited that you would get to take my class next year.”

Macey smiled. “She never told me that.”

“She talked about you all the time. You play soccer, right? Suzanna used to brag about your wins. She was very proud of you.”

Macey’s eyes grew large. “Really?”

“Really. Have you ever read her poem, ‘The Master’? That’s about you.”

“She wrote one of her poems about me?”

“Absolutely. You were the master on the soccer field. Read it again and look deeper between the lines. You’ll see her standing on the sidelines cheering for you.”

The girl’s eyes filled with tears. Annika took her hand into her own. “I know it’s hard right now. I lost my brother when I was Suzanna’s age. He was my twin. We’d done everything together for eighteen years.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know that.”

“It was hard. Grief can be overwhelming. ‘You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it,’” she quoted.

“I know that one,” Macey said excitedly. “That’s fromHarry Potter, right?”

Annika smiled. “You got it. You are well on your way to being a literary genius.” She winked, and Macey giggled. “I’m not going to say that the pain will go away. It never really does. I miss my brother every day, but he never really left me. He’s always here with me. Sometimes if I’m really quiet, I can still hear him. And if you ever need to talk to someone who’s gone through what you are going through, you can call me. Anytime. Okay? Give me your phone.” Macey nodded and handed Annika her cell phone for her to enter her contact information.

Macey hugged her. “Are you coming back to school? To work, I mean.”

“I don’t know. Not for the rest of this school year. I haven’t made a decision about the next. I’m sorry.”

“Everyone’ll miss you.”

“That’s very sweet of you to say,” she said, surprised her voice was hoarse with emotion.

Annika saw Macey steal a glance at Logan, who was chatting with her parents. She felt bad she’d forgotten her manners and hadn’t introduced him. Macey leaned closer to Annika and whispered, “Who’s that?”

Smiling, Annika whispered back, “That’s my boyfriend, Logan. Ever hear of the Nighthawks?”

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