“Oh yeah?” I asked, already moving down the hallway as if she were pulling me into her orbit from across the enclave.
“Yeah,” Dirge said, falling into step beside me.
My twin was a man of few words, even when not trapped in fur.
“How you holding up?” he asked, slapping me on the shoulder and following it up with a squeeze.
“I’m fine.” I was also a man of few words. Ran in the family.
He snorted, giving me an incredulous look. “How about the truth this time?”
I shrugged. There was no way I could explain the barbed-wire ball of feelings in my chest to anyone, not even my twin.
“Fine. I’ll talk, you listen. Finding your mate turns your whole world upside down, and it’ssupposedto. I know you like control, but when it comes to your woman… you’re going to have to let go a little.”
“I can’t,” I snapped, tugging on my sleeve in irritation before catching myself and shoving my hands into the pockets of my slacks.
Dirge put a hand on my shoulder again, stopping me this time at the door to the courtyard. “Listen. If anybody knows what it’s like to lose control, it’s me. But you’ve got the best control of anyone I’ve ever seen. You’re not going to hurt her or anyone else.”
I shook my head, not at all agreeing. “You saw what happened in Marciana’s office. I lost it, Dirge.”
“And then you pulled it back the second she walked into the room. That’s what matters. It’s intense before you seal the bond. It was for all of us. But when you exchange bites, the bond settles. You can reach her any time mentally, and it calms the beast.” He settled a hand over his chest, and I had never been more envious of my brother than I was at that moment.
“What if it doesn’t work? She’s not a wolf. I can’t stay like this forever. And after Galyna said she’d keep attracting other males any time she is out of the pack’s protection…” My fangs descended, my wolf tearing at my control in his rage at the merethoughtof more males chasing her.
“Hey, now. She’s safe with us. They all are. That’s the part you have to focus on. Nobody in Pack Blackwater will raise a finger to her, nor Caelestis, because they’re under Kane’s control now too. It’s going to work out, brother.”
He was right. Galyna had said our own pack was immune to the draw. That was something. I just had to convince Fiona to stay with the pack.
Or I’d have to follow her home to Philadelphia and tear any males who dared to come after her to shreds.
“There you go. Nice and calm for your lady. What do you say we surprise them with some late dinner?”
I nodded and let him lead me toward the kitchens.
* * *
We gotsome stern looks from the maidens’ cook when we told her we were taking dinner to the library, but in the end, we left the kitchen with two giant trays laden with bowls of stew, fresh bread, a big bowl of salad to share, and an entire tray of fresh-baked brownies, lightly dusted with powdered sugar. The chocolate scent was mouthwatering, swiftly reminding me that I never ate lunch today.
The library was impressive, if a little chilly. We found the women at the back of the large space, all of them in various stages of glossy-eyed exhaustion with books piled helter-skelter over the surface and spread out across a large wooden table. They’d clearly been powering through a lot of material in a short amount of time.
But as soon as I spotted Fiona, none of the rest was of interest. Dirge and I set our trays on the empty table behind them—safely away from all printed materials—and then I slid into the chair next to Fiona. She was so absorbed in her reading that she didn’t notice me at first.
When she did, she startled. “Reed! I didn’t even see you. How long have you been here?”
“Only a second. We just came to see how it was going and if we could help.” I nodded to Dirge, who’d wrapped his arms around Shay’s shoulders at the other end of the table.
“What is that divine smell?” Leigh asked, stretching and scanning the covered trays behind us.
“Dinner, and help yourselves. We brought enough for everyone.” Dirge waved toward the trays, but Leigh was already moving.
“I would kiss you both if that wouldn’t make Gael bite your heads off. The second trimester makes meravenous.” She was already lifting the cloches, making appreciative noises as she discovered each new thing.
“Have you eaten?” I asked, focusing back on my mate.
“Not since…” She frowned. “It’s been a while. I could definitely eat. But I’m afraid we haven’t found anything useful yet.”
“No?”