Page 49 of Preacher

I just sat there and waited for her to gather the courage to say what she had to say. She took another sip of her wine, then set the glass down and sighed.

“You already know the gist of it. I got married when I was sixteen. It wasn’t by choice.” She fidgeted with one of her bracelets as she continued, “My father made a bad bet he never should’ve made and lost. When he couldn’t pay, he gave them the only thing he had.”

Her voice didn’t crack.

It didn’t shake.

She just said it plain, like she was numb to it all. “It all happened so fast. I was just a girl one day and someone’s wife the next.”

I felt my jaw tense, but I kept quiet.

“I wanted no part of it, and Dimitri wasn’t exactly thrilled about it either. He didn’t want to marry me, but his father forced his hand. Dimitri didn’t like being told what to do, and he took his anger out on me. He was pretty brutal, especially in the beginning. He wanted things his way. He was very controlling, cold, and sex was…”

She paused, her lips pressing into a thin line. “It wasn’t about me. It was never about me. It was about power. About control. About putting me in my place.”

I could feel the burn in my chest.

“Things got better once I started having the boys. He let up some and wasn’t quite so harsh. And after Nikolai was born, something changed. I think he saw me differently.” She shrugged. “Maybe because I gave him what he wanted or maybe I lost my appeal. I don’t know. But he stopped coming to me. Stopped touching me. And I was okay with that. Relieved, even.”

She finally looked up at me with a somber expression. It was tough to see the hurt in her eyes, but I didn’t look away. I kept my eyes trained on hers as she told me, “I had my boys. They were my world. I figured that was enough.Ithadto be. And then…”

“And then?” I pushed.

“I met you.”

Her words hung between us. She’d given me the ultimate compliment. Tabitha was a beautiful woman. She could have her pick of men, and yet, it was me that turned her head. I wasn’t sure what to say to that. It was a moment when I was feeling a little proud, cocky even, but that was the last thing she needed.

Especially when she announced, “I don’t know how to do the whole dating thing.”

“Come again?”

“I’ve never done it. I went where I was told and pretended I wanted to be there or paid the consequences.” She took a long sip of her wine, trying to muster the courage to say, “I don’t know how to let a man in without thinking he’s going to use me or hurt me. I don’t know how to trust… And to just get it all out there, I don’t know how to kiss. Not really. Not the way kissing is supposed to be.”

“Hmmm.”

“It’s a lot, isn’t it?”

“It is, but there’s something you gotta remember.” I leaned in and looked her dead in the eye. “I’m not him. I’ll never be him or anything like him.”

“I know,” she said quickly. “And that’s why I’m sitting here with you right now. But you need to know it’s not going to be easy with me.”

“Thanks for the heads up, but I’m good.”

“You sure?”

“Look, I know you’ve been through hell. I ain’t expecting you to run out the gate and fall into my arms. But I’m here. And I’m not going anywhere unlessyouwant me to.”

Her breath hitched, just a little. “I don’t want you to.”

“That’s all I need to know.”

My fingers twitched with the need to touch her, but I didn’t rush it. I leaned in slow, giving her every second to pull away if she needed to.

But she didn’t.

She stayed right there, watching me as I lowered my mouth to hers. When I finally pressed my lips to hers, it was as soft and tender as I could manage. It was a quiet kind of kiss. The kind that didn’t demand or take. It wasn’t about heat or hunger—even though I hadplentyof both for her.

It was about giving her a chance to take in the moment. I was letting her know it wasn’t just about me. I wanted her to know that she had a say and that what she wanted mattered.

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