Page 76 of Sleepless Nights and Hockey Fights

Sigh.

I turn into the arena parking area as the sun drops toward the horizon, and I find a spot on the outskirts of the wives and girlfriends parking. Good thing I’m wearing sneakers tonight. I am not, however, wearing Bobby’s jersey. It just didn’t feel right.

It’s been radio silence since I texted Bobby last night about stepping back. I know doing that by text was the coward’s way out, but the man asked my kid and me to move in with him via text, so it was more of a reflex than anything. Part of the reason I’m going to tonight’s game is to speak to him in person afterward.

His impulsiveness always has him putting the cart before the horse, even if it’s not in his best interest. He may think he wants us to move in right now, but that could change. And did he assume it wouldn’t be a big deal for me to uproot our entire lives to play house with him? Talk about impractical! I mean, sure, if our relationship was further along and we knew for certain we had a future together, it might make sense, but we’ve only been officially dating for a month! Even if it feels like it’s been a whole lot longer. I’ve dated jackets for longer than that before cutting the tags off.

The guard scans my ID and I head to the stands to climb to the upper deck where the wives and girlfriends suite is. But then I pause. What am I doing? If we’re taking a break, why am I going to watch with all the wives and girlfriends? I’m standing at the landing, considering my options when I see Kaitlyn waving to me from down by the Storm Chasers’ bench. She never watches in the suite, preferring instead to be closer to the action. And the violence.

Crap. Now that she knows I see her, I have to go down there.

“Hey, Molly!” We hug in greeting.

“Where’s Mei tonight?” I gesture to her empty hands.

“Banks’s family is in town. His mom took possession of Mei the second she walked in the door and hasn’t given her up since.”

I laugh. “Sounds heavenly.” Blake’s parents used to do that sometimes, and it was always a welcome reprieve.

“You headed up to the WAGs’ suite?”

I hesitate, and before I can come up with an answer, I hear my name being called. We both look to the ice where Bobby is standing by the bench looking our way. “Meet me down there!” he yells, gesturing to the right.

Shit! I didn’t want to distract him before the game, but it looks like it’s too late. I muster a smile for Kaitlyn and head over to meet Bobby by a set of doors being guarded by a security guy.

“Aren’t you supposed to be warming up?” I ask as soon as Bobby emerges. He’s dressed in all his gear and holding his helmet in one hand. With the skates on, he towers over me.

“I was afraid you weren’t going to come.” He’s wearing a nervous smile, and it’s so hard not to go on my tiptoes and kiss him. But I really need time to think and reassess, and he deserves to hear it in person. Even if being around him makes me want to change my mind and ditch rationality in favor of rainbows and unicorns and orgasms.

“I wanted to see you.” I have to raise my voice to be heard over the announcer and the swell of cheers from the crowd. “We can talk after the game.”

His eyes drop to my sweater and his jaw tics. Clearly, he’s noticed I’m not wearing his jersey. “No, I want to talk now.”

“Bobby.” I glance around nervously as the lights dim in the arena. He needs to get his butt out of here and rejoin his team.

“Molly, I’m sorry if I made you feel pressured by asking you to move in. I just love spending time with you and Matthew, and I wanted you to know how sure I am about us.”

“Bobby, I...how can you be so sure? You haven’t even thought of all you might be missing out on by hitching yourselfto an instant family, much less an older partner. When I think about my twenties, I feel like I was a different person back then. You’re supposed to be able to grow and change as you go through your thirties, and you should absolutely do that.”

“And I’m sure I will. With you.”

I shake my head. “It doesn’t work like that.Idon’t work like that. We’ve only been dating for a month, Bobby. This is just all too fast, and I need to take a step back to do what’s best for my family.”

He clenches his teeth, then releases. “By step back, you mean you’re breaking up with me?”

I swallow hard, my pulse thumping in my neck. “If that’s what you want to call it,” I croak.

His chin drops to his chest as the announcer’s voice booms through the speakers and he begins introducing the Gold Rush’s first line. I can barely hear Bobby, yet I make out his words. “I can’t believe this. I love you, Molly.” The look in his eyes says he’s not lying one bit, and my heart tears apart.

I go on my tiptoes to make sure he can hear me. “And I love you. But love doesn’t automatically fix everything. Believe me.” I’ve got a whole suitcase full of examples from my life.

“Why not?”

I almost want to smile at the question because it’s so...Bobby. “The fact that you’re asking that question tells me I’m making the right decision. Let’s take the holidays apart and then we can talk in the new year.”

His nostrils flare. “So, your mind is going to change in the new year?”

I owe it to him to be truthful. “I don’t know.”

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