Page 60 of Sleepless Nights and Hockey Fights

Molly’s sniffles are back. “Thanks, Bobby.”

“I think you like her softness. I think her kindness reminds you of the only love and comfort you received as a boy. Would you say that’s correct?”

I tilt my head, thinking about all the various reasons I like Molly. Her being a mom is just one of them. “Sure. But I don’t just like her for that. I actually love her for a lot of things.”

Molly inhales sharply and I realize I’ve just confessed my love for Molly on a phone call with my therapist. Fuckity fuck. I tug on our conjoined hands and face her fully to salvage this. “Molly. I love you. I know it’s early, but I’m not one to fake how I feel.” Molly’s eyes have widened and her mouth’s doing that O thing again. It’s cute as hell, but I can practically feel the breeze from her brain spinning out of control. “I don’t need you to say anything back. I just wanted you to know.”

“Oh, my gosh! That’s the most adorable thing I’ve ever heard!” Ashley coos loudly from the speakers. She’s giving me the feedback I wish Molly would.

Molly’s face flames with embarrassment, and if I could, I’d put myself in a headlock for choosing such horrible timing.

“Gosh! This is such great progress,” Ashley powers ahead, oblivious to the awkwardness inside this car. “Bobby, how’s your relationship with Matthew? Do you treat him the way your father treated you?”

I scoff, severely offended by that idea. “Absolutely not. We talk things through, and I try to be there for him any way I can. He’s safe with me.”

Ashley must hear my tone. “I bet he is,” she assures me before abruptly switching topics. “Do you want more kids, Bobby?”

“Of course,” I answer the same time Molly blurts out, “It’s too early for that.”

I haven’t actually put much thought into it, but I always envision myself with kids around me. A chance to do things differently than how I was raised. I always envision them way in the future when I have things more figured out, though. It takes me a second to realize what Molly said.

I feel her stiffen. When I glance at her, she’s looking down at her lap, teeth worrying her lip. “Molly?”

She lifts her head, eyes full of tears again. I lift her hand to my mouth and kiss her soft skin. I hate to see her cry.

“What’s wrong, baby?” I forget all about Ashley being on the phone. All that matters is finding out what I said to make Molly cry.

“Bobby,” her voice breaks and she pauses to clear her throat. “I’m forty. I don’t know if I can have more kids.”

My brain scrambles. What does she mean? “But there was that singer in Italy that gave birth at fifty-six. Or Janet Jackson!She was fifty. Oh! Kaitlyn! She just turned forty and had Mei!” I could give even more examples if she gave me time to Google it.

“That’s a beautiful thing. Forthem,” Molly answers, squeezing my hand so hard I can’t feel my fingers. “But that doesn’t mean I can. I’m already experiencing perimenopausal symptoms.”

“Peri-what?”

“Um, excuse me?” Ashley’s voice startles both of us. “I don’t mean to interrupt but I’ll be late for my next client if we don’t wrap this up. I think maybe we better continue this conversation next session?”

“Sounds good,” I say absently and hang up the phone. I nearly crawl over the console to get my hands on Molly’s face, cupping her jaw and making her look me in the eye.

“This isn’t a make it or break it issue for me. Please don’t cry.”

“And I wouldn’t mind having more kids, but time’s not on my side, Bobby. If you want more kids, I’m not sure you should be with me.”

My heart starts pounding and not in a good way like when I’m about to beat someone’s ass for messing with my captain. “Hey. Don’t say that. Let’s table that topic for now. One thing at a time. Right now I want to take the lady I love to lunch so we can submit an offer on a house. As my mom would say, let’s not borrow trouble.”

Molly’s smile is watery, but it’s there. “Okay.”

I kiss her softly, savoring the scent of her filling my car. Instead of arguing about hypothetical kids in the distant future, I need to make Molly see how good we are together. That it’s not too early to talk about a future together. About how she can trust me with every aspect of her life. How much fun we have together. After parking by the restaurant, I make sure to tuck her into my side as we walk together.

“Maybe over lunch we can discuss the naked plans I have for you in each of those rooms we just looked at.”

“Bobby!”

“What? Can’t blame a man for having dreams and aspirations, baby.”

Chapter Twenty-Six

Molly

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