Page 24 of Sleepless Nights and Hockey Fights

“I don’t think you can say ass to kids.” His mouth quirks to the side like he wants to laugh.

I shrug. “I never said I was good with kids. But here’s the thing, man. You can’t follow what I do.”

“Why not? You’re a professional hockey player.” He says it with so much awe, I wince.

“I know. But that’s because I can hit a hockey puck and slam someone up against the boards, not because I’m some moral paragon who should be imitated.”

“Huh?”

I shake my head, wishing I was better at this. “Just...don’t do what I do. I’m still learning how to do things without punching people, okay? I’m like a toddler learning to walk. I’ve got a ways to go.”

“You like to punch people too?”

Shit. He’s focusing on the wrong parts. Maybe this is exactly why Molly didn’t want me talking to Matthew.

“It’s not that I like to hit people, it’s just that sometimes my fist flies before my mouth can say something.”

Matthew nods vigorously. “I know! That’s what happens to me! I mean, sometimes I just push people, but it’s like I’m doing it before I even realize I’m doing it.”

I put my hand on his shoulder. “Okay, so my counselor told me we have to get better at recognizing the signs of anger before it gets to that point.”

“You see a counselor?” Matthew says it like I just admitted to getting regular enemas.

I puff up my chest. “Of course I do. I’m a grown-ass adult with an anger problem. It’s my responsibility to get a hold of that before I hurt more people, don’t you think?”

Matthew’s nodding, furry brows drawn together in concentration. “You think I should see one?”

“I think it wouldn’t hurt. What you’re doing right now isn’t exactly working, right?”

Matthew’s nodding again. “So, how do you know you’re mad?”

I review everything I went through with Ashley yesterday and he tries it, discovering that for him, he hears a whooshing noise in his ears and can feel his heartbeat pulsing all over his body.

“Okay, so when you notice those two things, I want you to take a deep breath and step back. Like, a physical step back. Just that little bit of time and awareness might help you realize what you’re doing.”

Matthew grins, transforming into a confident kid who’ll have the ladies lining up around the block soon. “I’ll try it. Thanks, Bobby.”

We do the man-hug-back-slap thing, and he leaps away, gliding out onto the ice and joining the group of older kids warming up in a circle. I put my skates on and get out there too, helping Chloe as much as I can. I try to help at practice most days, but today, I do it with the mindset of being the kind of coach I didn’t have growing up. One who lets the kids make mistakes without yelling at them. One who encourages and doesn’t expect perfection.

When the parents come for pick up, I spot Molly easily. She’s the quiet one, looking for her son with worried eyes. I skate over to Matthew before he leaves the ice.

“Remember what we talked about, huh?”

He nods at me and skates off. I help a younger kid who wipes out right at the entrance to the ice. His eyes fill with tears, but I tell him about when I fell in a game and broke my tailbone as a kid. He’s laughing by the time his dad comes to collect him.I stand up and see Molly fussing over Matthew as he puts his skates in his bag.

“You’re out of choices this time. You either have to talk to me or talk to your father, Matty,” Molly is saying.

Matthew’s expression turns to granite. He looks ready to blow, a feeling I recognize all too well. I step closer, not wanting harm to come to Molly, even if it’s just hurt feelings. But I have nothing to worry about. Matthew closes his eyes, his chest inflating as he takes a deep breath. Then he takes a single step back from his mother and opens his eyes again, back in control.

“Mom, can you please try to use Matthew instead of Matty?”

Molly rubs her forehead. “Yes. I’m sorry, Matthew. I’m really trying.”

Matthew sees me just past his mother and points at me with a proud grin. I wink back, an exchange Molly catches. She stares at me with a thousand questions in her eyes, but Matthew has picked up his bag and is walking out of the rink. Molly hurries after him, darting glances over her shoulder at me.

I can’t help but give her a wink too. Only to see the blush track over her cheeks again.

Chapter Twelve

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