Page 111 of True North

Tomorrow she will have to be back in town. I get her for a total of three days a week. Selfishly, I wish she could be here every day. But the thought fades as fast as it formed when I see her focus is stuck on the distant horizon. The telltale signs of Louisa stuck in her thoughts are written all over her face.

“Good, then you’ll be there. This old place will wait.”

“I thought you needed help?”

She’s staring at me now.

I ride along, letting the gelding swing his head low on the walk out.

Horse halts when I don’t answer. “Harry?”

“This place needs more hands, but that’s not an option at the moment.”

“You mean we can’t afford it.”

It’s a statement, not a question.

“No, we can’t.”

Her face crumbles with worry, and I regret sayin’ anything. I will make this work. Every beast counts. Every season needs to be better than the last. We need to make the mortgage payment. We nee?—

“What can I do to help? I mean... ” She studies my face. “What are we going to do? We can’t lose it, we just...”

Her breathing stutters out.

Fuck.

I rein the gelding to a halt and lean over, taking Horse’s reins. She comes to a stop. I nudge the gelding sideways, and he obliges. My leg brushes against Lou’s. Her hands grip the pommel tight.

I take her face in my hands. “Louisa May, you look at me.”

She sank the last of her savings into this place. For me.

Hell will freeze over before I let her lose the one piece of security she has left.

Her shoulders rise and fall. The movement is too rapid.

“Hey! You listen here.” I turn her face to mine. “We are not losin’ this ranch.”

Her green eyes are tight, tears welling in them. Shadowed from the sun by the brim of her hat, her eyes dilate, making her look so fragile. I know she’s not.

I need her to understand that.

“What happens to you if this doesn’t work out?” she finally says.

Me?

She is worried about me. My dreams, not hers or her life savings I have gambled with.

I slam my eyes shut, hands still wrapped around her face. My heart aches as it expands with her sentiment. Her unconditional love.

I don’t deserve her.

Maybe I never have.

She could have been right the first time ’round. To walk away.

To find another life, far from the disaster I am. Thinking I could make something, something impressive, from dirt nothin’.

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