I grind my jaw shut. Nothing’s changed for me. Not a damn thing. I still think about her every minute of every godforsaken day. Have since the day we met. Even during the ten years we were apart, she was never far from my mind. Now, with her standing in front of me, it’s harder than ever to rein in the feelings I have for her. To stop from giving in to the things I want.
“So that’s it, then?” I manage.
She just stares at me now. Her chin wobbles, and she shifts on her feet.
“I’m seeing Brad. You’re in the middle of—” She glances behind me, as if whatever she is thinking about could be seen in the darkness hanging over the middle-of-nowhere gravel road.
I step closer, unfolding her arms. Her breath hitches, sending my nerves electric. “Lou?”
I haven’t called her that in ten years.
Her eyes flick up to mine. Her nose crinkles like she’s tryin’ not to cry.
Fuck.
I need to know if this is one-sided. Because the last time we tried this, we ignited something that felt eternal. So all-consuming, it had the potential to ruin us both. And it almost did. We were too young.
We ain’t young anymore.
Blood thunders through my veins, the humid air popping them to the surface. My hands grip her upper arms. I press my forehead to hers.Please, darlin’.
“I can’t do this...” she whispers, pulling out of my hold.
“Can’t or won’t, Louisa?” My tone is harsher than I mean it to be. But the toll of wanting someone, pining for them for so long, has me wound up.
I’m desperate for her.
My shoulders rise and fall in quick succession as choppy air burns my insides.
She steps back. “Can’t.”
“That’s bullshit, and you know it!” I close in on her.
She snaps her head up, chin tilting in defiance.
God, I love her this way.
“What the hell would you know? You never left. You stayed here and did the same thing for a decade. I didn’t have that choice. I had to leave. I had to take chances. I had to be scared.”
“You had to, or you wanted to? ’Cause from where I was standing, you leavin’ looked a whole lot like runnin’.”
“You asshole.” Her palm meets my face a second later. I close my eyes, molars grinding, as the sting burns its way through my cheek. The burn sinks low, igniting the heat low in my core. My cock twitches with her assault.
“Oh no!” she gasps. “Harry, I’m sorry.”
A trembling hand presses lightly on my cheek. “I am so sorry. I shouldn’t have don—” She cuddles into my embrace, hands gripping my T-shirt. I dip my head into her hair. I breathe her in.
Fuck, I deserved that.
I know exactly why she left. It took me a while to figure it out in the aftermath of her walkin’ away ten years ago. But I understand now, she had to get out. There was nothing here for her. The only thing she would have had was me.
No career.
No independence.
I’ve seen it hundreds of times. It’s like a small-town epidemic. As much as it burned that only having me wasn’t enough to keep her here, if we’d traded places, honestly, I would have done the same thing. I take her arms and pry her away from me.
“I’m glad you got out, Lou. I just wish I’d had the guts to go with you.”