Page 39 of Beneath the Fame

The karaoke machine, the coolers with the deep tubs of colorful ice cream, even the uniforms on the “employees” – all of it helped with the immersion necessary to really settle into the scene.

Scenes where I was “Auntie Kami” were my favorites.

Not that I didn’t enjoy shooting with my other co-stars, but when I was filming with Shannon’s actress, it felt like so much more of a stretch for my acting muscles.

A few of my cousins had kids, but they were all so young that portraying an aunt was pretty foreign to me. I had no experience. I had those women inmylife at this age though, so I pulled a lot of the characterization from the relationships I had with them.

They’d always been very…straight up.

I couldn’t remember being spoken to like a child—and not in a way that inappropriate conversations were had with me. There was just no dumbing things down, no softening of the delivery to avoid me having knowledge of thereal“real world.”

I was grateful.

I credited that approach for me coming into the entertainment industry without a lot of the blinders that allowed so many to be taken advantage of. Much of the wariness and mistrust people tried to tell me was unwarranted paranoia had kept me from signing shitty deals or ending up cornered in a room at the wrong parties.

I’d been protected, which allowed me to have a certain level of control, make moves I wouldn’t otherwise have been able to make.

Like signing on to this show, which my management had advised against—said it wouldn’t be good for the “image” I’d cultivated.

An image I wasn’t so sure about anymore.

Bad bitch?

Yes.

I wasalwaysgoing to be that.

I just didn’t like the way I’d been pigeon-holed.

The sexiness was simply engrained in me, part of who I was that was never changing, as long as I could help it. It would be amazing though, if people were able to see deeper than that exterior—hopefully triggered by this role.

The scene wrapped with Shannon—who was so damn perceptive, even as a young child—challenging Kami’s characterization of the relationship with Rae as them not getting along. Honestly, Kami was a bitch to her because she felt like her brother was being taken away, and by a family they didn’t get along with.

Which exacerbated the alienation that was exactly what Kami feared, anddidn’twant.

Now Kaleel and Rae were both gone, leaving behind a child no one had known about because they were estranged from both families. It left Kami, Jude, and Silas—Shaw’s character—having to grapple with guilt and what family really meant, while Luna Maxfield—Elodie’s character, and Shannon’s grade-school teacher—had to play referee, all too often.

The shit was compelling.

I got compliments from CharlotteandNolan about my performance today, so I practically bounced all the way to my trailer on a high. When I got to my phone to turn it on, it was flooded with notifications I mostly ignored, except for two in particular.

Alec had called, and so had Annie.

The return calls were going to put me in two completely different moods, so I made a quick decision to see what Annie—my manager—wanted first.

“Where have you beeeeeeen?” she asked, not even bothering with pleasantries or hellos. It was a video call, and from the angle, I could immediately tell she was in a moving car.

“Is that a real question?”

It couldn’t be.

She had to be playing.

Even though she’d preferred me to spend this time in a studio working on a new album, I refused to believe she’d progressed to simply pretending the show wasn’t happening.

“Oh yeah—your little acting thing,” she chirped, and I rolled my eyes.

“I don’t think a lead role on a major TV show should be referred to asa little acting thing, but okay.”

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