Page 27 of Bending The Rules

“So you don’t know what I’m talking about?”

A smile spread over her face, replacing her sad expression. “I have no idea.”

“Uh-huh. Tell me something – what would that speech have looked like two weeks ago, if we hadn’t had that talk?”

Toni pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, chewing it a little before she met my gaze again. “Actually, it would have looked the same. I wrote that a month ago.”

My eyebrows shot up. “Really?”

“Ugh, why do you sound so shocked?!”

“Cause you’ve been mean as hell for the last seven years,” I laughed, and she crossed her arms.

“Because youhurt me,Justin.”

“I know.” I stretched my arms out to her – something I’d done at least a million times before, but now felt almost… foreign. But then she stepped into the embrace, and it felt like… something else.

“I want us to be back like we were,” she mumbled into my chest, wrapping her arms around my waist. “I missed you. So much. I spent so much time wondering if I was just… stupid, you know? Wondering if the friendship was one-sided. Because if you felt about me, how I felt about you, how could you ever possibly…do that.And now that I know it wasn’t the way it seemed… I just wish we could rewind. Can we do that? Just… hit a button. No?”

“No,” I laughed, then planted a kiss on top of her head. “We can work on getting it back though. I mean, if that’s what you want to do.”

“Only if it’s whatIwant to do, huh?”

“It’s cool with me too I guess.”

“Oh whatever,” she laughed, tipping her head back to look at me. “Your ass missed me.”

“You are absolutely right.”

Another one of “those” moments passed between us. Another one of those things I was just putting in books, thinking I was making shit up, but here we were. Looking at each other. Me wanting to kiss her in a way that friends didn’t kiss.

“I should um… go find Russell. He’s probably looking for me.”

I nodded, and stepped back, releasing her from my arms. “Yeah, probably so.”

She moved to the door, then looked back, with a smile. “Let’s do lunch or something. Soon.”

“Definitely. We’ll make plans.”

She slipped out after that, and I pushed out a sigh. If every time we got close to each other was going to be like this… I wasn’t sure how this “friends” thing was going to work out.

Six.

Is this too much cleavage for lunch with a…friend?

I asked myself that question in the mirror as I buttoned, then unbuttoned, then rebuttoned, then finally left the top button of my blouse undone. Years ago, the idea of obsessing over what to wear to go out with Justin would be laughable. Today, I wondered if my outfit was too sexy.

Or… not sexy enough?

I shook my head.

On no planet in our solar system should Ieverfind myself wondering if I lookedsexyenough for friggin’Justin.A kid I’d sported matching casts with after we climbed – and fell out of – the big tree in my parent’s backyard. The boy who’d farted on me on purpose in eighth grade – an act I’d rewarded with a busted lip. The boy I’d had to shame into cleaning his dorm room in college, because it reeked of gym clothes and musty socks.

I wasn’t supposed to care if I looked good for him, because he wasn’t supposed to be looking. But Iwantedhim to look.

Maybe if he was looking, that would let me know I wasn’t just losing my mind. Something was different between us forhimtoo.

I propped a hand on my hip as I looked myself over. Caged booties, dark jeans, and a royal blue button-up blouse that fit loose, just skimming my curves, but dipped low in the front. I decided I looked good. Lunch-with-friend appropriate.

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