Page 15 of Bending The Rules

Aviva grinned, leaning into him for a kiss. It felt voyeuristic, watching their private moment, but I didn’t look away. It was beautiful, just being able to observe them together, absorbed in the kind of moment I missed.

“Okay, I’m ready,” Vi said, standing up straight after she and Eric finished exchanging some quiet words, meant just for each other. Between love and motherhood, her face was glowing, and her energy was just…happy. I found myself having to fight back a stab of envy.

I loved the hell out of Vi, and was thrilled that she seemed to be settled into her role as a mother, and had found love at the same time. Even though she was a little older than me, I’d always imagined us embarking on both of those journeys together. Engaged at the same time, pregnant at the same time, crying at each other’s weddings, play dates with our kids.

I swallowed a sigh.

At least things were lining up for one of us.

I placed a soft kiss on Avery’s sleeping forehead, then waved goodbye to Eric as Aviva pulled me out the door. It wasn’t until we were strapped into the car that Aviva said anything.

“So what’s your problem?” she asked, looking both ways as she pulled out of her driveway.

I eyed her from my place in the passenger seat. “What are you talking about? I don’t have a problem.”

She cackled. “Oh girl please. You absolutely have a problem. I couldn’t tell through the phone, but it’s all over your face. I’ve just been waiting for the right time to ask you, when Aunt Marjorie wasn’t around. And… here we are. So spill it. What’s up with you?”

“Nothing.”

“Bullshit.” She turned to me as she pulled to a stop at a light. “This is about Russell, isn’t it?”

I rolled my eyes, watching the passing scenery as we started moving again. “I amnotthinking about goddamnedRussell.”

“Uh,wow.”

As soon as those words crossed her lips, I realized my mistake, and closed my eyes, pressing a hand to my forehead as I leaned against the door.

“So, that’s what’s hot these days in engagement?Not thinking aboutyour goddamnedfiancée, Tee?? Girl, if you don’t tell me what’s going on, I swear I will turn this car around.”

I sucked my teeth. “And dowhatexactly? Spank me?”

“Yes.I will whoop your ass if you keep lying about nothing being wrong with you!”

Opening my eyes, I turned to her. “Actually, that’s not really a lie. It’s a universal cue for “I don’t want to talk about this shit” that you ignored.”

“Antoinette Michelle-”

“We broke up, okay?” I snapped, hands in the air. “We couldn’t stop fighting about starting a family, and we just… weren’t on the same page. So we called it off. Which is fine.”

Aviva was quiet for several moments as we rolled past the gray brick buildings of the Blakewood State University campus, then shook her head. “How can that be fine, Toni? You loved that man enough to agree to marry him. Introduced him to your family. You don’t have to say you’re fine with it, if you’re not.”

“Iamfine with it, I just don’t want to talk about it. It was months ago. I’m ready to move on.”

“Months ago?? And you didn’t say anything? Are you out of your mind?”

I scoffed. “No, I don’t believe so. I actually think that not telling my dramatic ass cousin, who would have told her dramatic ass mama, who would’ve toldmydramatic ass mama, was pretty damned smart. It gave me time to be at peace with the breakup on my own, without hearing your mouths.”

“We aren’t that bad!”

“You still won’t leave me alone about Justin, and it’s been almost seven years.”

“Because your ass iswrongabout Justin.”

“I don’t want to talk about him.”

“Fine, then tell me what the hell happened between you and Russell. You had that man following you all over the world, in love with your used luggage tags, but you two broke up over when to start a family?”

I sighed. “I don’t want to talk about that either.”

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