Page 77 of Bending The Rules

I rolled my eyes. “Whatever. You said you had something you wanted that would change our relationship, introduced that you wanted to sign with Scattered Seeds. Bam. Finished.”

“I said I hadsome things.Plural. Not finished. And I’m not about to let you push me away until you’ve at least heard me out.”

“You’ve hadampleopportunity to say anything you needed to say to me, Justin. So either say it, or leave me the fuck alone while I figure out how to be “just” your friend.”

For several moments, neither of us spoke. I glared at him, much more defiantly than I felt, wanting him to see that tears mingled with the water streaming down my cheeks. He released his hold on my wrists, cupping my face to search for… something. But I didn’t have anything to give him. No comfort, no patience, no understanding. In that moment… I was all out.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly, then leaned into me. And despite my angry declarations, I melted into his touch and closed my eyes, whimpering as he whispered “I’m sorry,” again, against my lips, just before he kissed me.

He pressed me into the wall, and I didn’t fight it. I was exhausted from my flight, exhausted from the confusion of our friendship, and just… out of energy. I was still crying as he kissed my face – quiet sobs that I didn’t bother holding back as he told me, over and over that he was sorry for hurting me. If nothing else… he was supposed to be my friend, and if you couldn’t cry in front of a friend… who the helldidyou have?

My eyes were shut tight, but I let out a shuddering breath at the sensation of my shower sponge against my skin. I opened just enough to see him as Justin carefully soaped my arms, my breasts, my stomach and pelvic area. I looked away as he turned me to wash my back, then bent to get my legs. Not until he turned me back around, and kneeled in front of me to wash my feet and the fronts of my legs did I open my eyes again. To watch him, as he cared for me in a way that was so intensely intimate it made my chest ache.

As if he could feel my eyes on him, he looked up, and our gazes met. He stood, looking right at me as he took down the sprayer to remove all traces of soap from my skin. Before he put the sprayer back, he rinsed the sponge in the shower spray until it was clean, then lowered it, pressing it at the crest of my thighs.

He pressed me back against the wall again, lowering his mouth to my ear. “Open,” he said, and I did, parting my thighs enough for him to push the wet sponge between my legs. He washed me there, with a much gentler hand than I would have used for myself, then let the sponge drop to the shower floor.

I sucked in a breath when he replaced it with his fingers.

“I don’t want you to go away again,” he muttered into my neck, then gently sank his teeth into my wet skin. I moaned as he pushed his fingers into me, then pulled his head back to look me in the eyes. “Get the office space here.Stay here.With me.”

I closed my eyes tight, shaking my head. I didn’t want his words – or fingers – to feel so good. “This doesn’t help,” I said, reluctantly grabbing his wrist to still his movement. “I don’t want you to want this just because you think it’s what I want. You have to want it because you just…do.”

“Ido,” he said, lifting a hand to hold the back of my neck.

“Then why am I just now hearing it?”

His fingers went up into the wet curls at my nape, digging in as he urged my face toward his. “Because I… I’m stupid.”

“You’re not stupid.”

“But I am,” he murmured into my lips, then pushed his fingers into me again, making me gasp. He accepted my open mouth as an invitation, slipping his tongue inside to taste and tease me for a few moments before he pulled back, resting his forehead against mine. “I shouldn’t have let you believe you were feeling uncertain and confused about our friendship by yourself. I like things to be… well-defined, and in order. Those feelings weren’t either of those things.”

I wanted to respond. I really, really did, but he drove his long, thick fingers deeper into me as he pressed his thumb to my clit in tight circles. My mouth opened, but only to let out whimpers of pleasure. I couldn’t speak.

“I fucked up,” he said, meeting my eyes. “I didn’t know how to process what was happening between us, and didn’t know how I felt about you.”

“And now you do?” I asked, in a breathless whimper.

Justin held my gaze as he nodded, then lowered his mouth to mine again. “I love you… and I’m not talking about “as a friend”.”

His lips were pressed to mine as soon as those words were out, and I draped my arms around his neck, urging him closer. I didn’t realize how heavy the weight of the last few weeks had been until it left my shoulders, and disappeared.

“I love you too,” I whispered into his mouth, just before he took it away, lowering his lips to my neck. My eyelids fluttered shut as he moved his hands, cupping and squeezing my breasts before he closed his mouth over my nipple. My lips parted as he sucked the sensitive peak, moving his head back to tease it with his teeth before he pulled it into his mouth again. Playing with me. Rolling his tongue around it, sucking so hard that italmosthurt. He gave my other breast the same attention, sucking and biting and teasing until the pressure in my stomach was almost more than I could stand. He brought his mouth back to mine, kissing me like he was trying to build permanent residence for his tongue next to mine.

And then, he knelt in front of me again.

The sponge was forgotten somewhere on the shower floor – his tongue was the accessory he used, plunging between my legs to slide over my sensitive skin. I grabbed onto the metal towel bar screwed to the wall with one hand, holding on for my life as he hooked my leg over his shoulder, covering me with his mouth.

With his whole face buried between my legs, arm hooked around my thigh, he pushed me up the wall. “Ahhh,” I cried, planting my free hand on top of his head as my body jerked in pleasure. Without warning, he hooked my other thigh over his shoulder too, opening me wider. I clenched my teeth, inhaling and exhaling harsh breaths as Justin’s tongue worked, licking and lapping and making my thighs quiver in bliss.

“OhGod,Oh God Oh God,” I whimpered over and over as he pushed his fingers into me and closed his lips around my clit, sucking it into his mouth. He flicked it and circled it with his tongue as he stroked me until tears – very, very different tears than the ones from before – were streaming down my face.

He had to pry my thighs from around his head after I came. We both laughed when he caught me under the arms as I started to slide down the shower wall once he let me down onto my temporarily jellied legs. He pushed up against the slick surface for leverage, then hooked my thighs around his waist.

I looked down at us, greedily anticipating the feeling of him inside of me. My belly clenched as soon as we connected, and I watched the transition of him sliding into me until our hips met. Our shared groan of contentment made me look up, meeting his gaze.

A different sort of smile curved up the corners of his mouth, and I couldn’t have kept myself from smiling back if I tried. He leaned in to brush his lips against mine, soft at first, but then harder… more urgent. He nibbled at the corners of my mouth, traced my bottom lip with his tongue, sucked and nipped, then devoured me, like he might never get another chance.

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