Page 76 of Bending The Rules

“Good,” he said again, reaching for my hand. I closed the few steps between us to let him grasp it. He squeezed my fingers between his, then brushed my knuckles with the pad of his thumb. “With that said… I want some things that would change, and honestly challenge the nature of our relationship.”

The hope bubble swelled bigger.

“I’d like for you to consider letting me sign with Scattered Seeds for my next book.”

My lips parted, lettingallllthe hope dissipate as my bubble collapsed in on itself.

“Oh,” was all I could manage to say before my throat seemed to close up, and air in the room started to feel… suffocating.

“Tee,” he urged, squeezing my hand again. I brought my gaze to his face, took in the apparent unease in his expression. He was serious about this. “Say something. I know the last time we mixed business with friendship didn’t end so well, but this time… I’ll sign anything you put in front of me in terms of honoring the contract, all of that. No verbal agreements. We do it right this time, so there’s no chance of a repeat. What do you think?”

“I…” I pushed out a breath, then slipped my hand away from his to run my fingers through my hair. “Um… I already told you this, Jus. You’re… amazingly talented. Any publisher who turned you down would be making a mistake, and I don’t believe in purposeful mistakes. So… I think you should submit a proposal. But I can tell you now… your answer would be yes.”

“Seriously?” he asked, sounding genuinely surprised.

I rolled my eyes. “Yes, seriously. And my answer would have been yes while I was pissed at you, too. Scattered Seeds is my company, but it’s notme.I mean, I generally like the authors we work with, but it’s business. Talent is good for business, and you have that in heaps, so… yes. I’d love to have you on our roster.”

I tried my very best to offer a smile that matched the happiness in his, but inside… I wanted to melt into a puddle of tears. I let him hug me, but quickly pulled away from his embrace, turning so that my back was to him.

“Um… I haven’t had a chance to shower yet, so I’m gonna go do that,” I said, struggling to keep the emotion out of my voice as I walked to the bathroom, not waiting for his response. “We can talk more about your pitch later. Make sure you close the front door when you leave.”

I closed the one to the bathroom firmly behind me.

Okay, I slammed it.

But slamming that door shut did very, very little to calm the storm of hurt and rage rolling around inside of me.

I came back for this?!

We could have done that over the phone.

He could have sent a fucking email.

But instead, he’d let me get my hopes up that he wanted to see me in person because he wanted to be able to hold me. Touch me.Kiss me.But… no.

He just wanted to remind me that we were “friends” again.

I flipped on the water to start the shower, not bothering to adjust the temperature before I stepped in. The cold water on my skin was like a shock to my system – maybe one that I needed – but I quickly adjusted it up, until it somewhat matched the temperature of the hot tears streaming down my face.

I stepped back, resting against the slick, smooth tile of the shower wall. I kept my eyes closed as the water rained down on me, hoping that it would somehow wash all of this away.

You can’t be mad at him for this, I told myself.It’s not fair. Think about how disgusted you’d be if this was flipped, and Justin was upset with you because youdaredto not want him in that way.

As logical as that was… it didn’t really make me feel any better. It didn’t make it hurt any less. And I wasn’t even sure how I’d gotten here, to a point where I apparently had much more than acrushon my best friend.

An unfamiliar sound in the bathroom made me move my head from underneath the spray and open my eyes. I wiped water from my face to find Justin on the other side of the shower’s glass door, nearly finished getting undressed.

“Justin, what the hell are you doing?” I asked, feeling a fresh round of rage bubble up in me as he opened the door and stepped in. “I hope you don’t think we’re about to christen ourbusinessrelationship with sex.”

“Not at all,” he said, not flinching as the water beat down on his side.

My nostrils flared. “Good!” I swiped away the rivulets of water streaming from my hair into my face. “And don’t think I’m about to give you “welcome back” sex either, or whatever the hell you think is about to happen. You want to be friends, fine, but what you won’t do is use me for sex like that’s the only thing I have to offer you.”

“You know better than to think that about me, Tee.”

I threw up my hands. “Do I, Justin? Cause if that’s not why your naked ass is in here, what are you here for?!”

“To talk to you,” he said, stepping forward, but I immediately put my hands on his chest to shove him back. I groaned in frustration when he didn’t even budge, just grabbed my wrists to pull me closer. “You said you were getting in the shower, so here, we’re in the shower. But I wasn’t finished talking to you.”

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