Page 29 of Bending The Rules

“It was the only time I could get through to you, Toni. I know you’re still upset with me, but sometimes you have to let people explain themselves.”

I rolled my eyes. “Explain yourself? Explain your mistake? Amistakeis wearing mismatched pumps. Amistakeis mixing up the date of an appointment. Amistakeis pronouncing the “L” in salmon. Wanting me to put my career on hold for your selfish desires isnota mistake. Breaking our engagement because I… because of somethingI can’t helpisn’t a mistake, Russell!”

I’d been forcing myself to keep my voice low, but glanced around anyway to make sure no one was overhearing our conversation. My chest was heaving, face was hot, hands trembling, eyes welling with tears… but I wastryingnot to let myself get upset.

Trying and failing.

“We can get past this Toni,” he said, grabbing my hand again, but I immediately snatched it away.

“It took you almost three months to figure out you made a mistake?Nowyou think we can get past it?”

Russell sighed. “Just have lunch with me? We can sit down, and talk this through.”

“I already have lunch plans.”

“Can you reschedule?”

“No?”

“Seriously? Who are you meeting with?”

“Justin Wright.”

Russell’s eyes narrowed over that.

Not because he knew the history between me and Justin – he didn’t – but because he “didn’t like how ol’ boy was looking at me all night”. The night of the signing, Russell had shown up being more protective than he had a right to be. He thought everybody was looking at me, including Justin, though I’d gotten no indication of anything of the sort.

And I was looking for it.

“So you’re dating now? This little author?”

“Justin has been on the cover of Ebony. Been interviewed by Oprah. Had dinner with the Obamas. He’s not a “little” author, first of all. Second, no, I’m not dating. And third, even if Iwas… that has nothing to do withyou. You broke up with me, remember?”

“We just need to talk, please.”

“I have somewhere to be right now.”

“Then later,” he said, pleading with his eyes. “Dinner? Dessert? Midnight snack?”

Despite myself, I laughed, then shook my head. I thought about how I’d avoided talking to Justin all these years. I mean… sure, he still wouldn’t have told me about the threat from Lion, because up until recently he was still legally bound to them. But maybe he would have told me about his daughter’s heart condition once she wasn’t a baby anymore, and maybe knowing that would have cooled my anger.

Maybe.

Maybe this was a new lesson, in giving people benefit of the doubt.

“Fine, Russell,” I said. “I’ll see what my schedule looks like for later today, and let you know if I have some time. No promises.”

He grinned at me, then grabbed my hand again, raising it to his lips. “All I need is a chance,” he quipped, and the confidence – or arrogance – of those words cut through the disdain I’d felt for him since our breakup. As he brushed a kiss over my fingers, it reminded me, just a little, of why he’d ever appealed to me in the first place.

“I’ll let you get to your lunch,” he said, taking his time to release my hand. We parted ways, and I resumed my walk down toGrill Me In– the same place Justin and I had lunch a few weeks ago, before we’d hashed things out.

My head was swimming now, and I didn’t even know where to start sorting through my thoughts. I’d made it a point tonothave Russell on the brain. I was trying to get over him, and constantly having him in my thoughts wasn’t the way. Just like with Justin, it was easy to not think about someone when they weren’t in your immediate space. And just like with Justin… it was easier to be mad at someone, than give in to the fact that they’d hurt you.

I took a deep breath as I pulled open the door to the restaurant, trying to shake aside the confused feelings Russell had left in his wake. I spotted Justin as soon as I stepped inside, and took a quick moment to admire him before he looked up. He’d always been handsome, but the years had roughened away the smooth edges that kept him baby-faced for so long. The height wasn’t new, but the facial hair and grown-man weight were.

Again… he looked good.

As if he felt eyes on him, he looked around, his face lighting up with a smile when he saw me. “You’re late,” he teased, then pulled me into a hug that smelled – and felt – like heaven.

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