Page 20 of Bending The Rules

“Lion. They came to me, and made me an offer. Hadn’t even seen a single word, but they wanted me. Offered what seemed like the world, and I said no, because I already had a publisher. They asked who – even though I knew they already knew it. I was proud to say your name, in the same inflection of a good “fuck you.” Becausefuck them, after what they did to you. You trusted them, and they screwed you.”

I scoffed. “Yeah. That seems to be a running thing between me and people I trust.”

“Give it a rest, Toni. And just listen.”

My scowl deepened, and I looked away, running my tongue over my teeth to burn off the energy I wasn’t extending by cursing him out.

“After I said it was you, they asked me what I would think of their offer if my current publisher was buried under too many lawsuits to even read a book, let alone think about publishing one. And I mean… the implication of that is clear.”

A chill ran down my spine as those words left his lips, because that intimidation tactic sounded incredibly familiar.

“If the same thing happened today… I would have given them thatfuck you. But I was young, and stupid, and worried that this huge company was about to destroy my friend’s dream. So I didn’t say no. I sat with it, and thought about it, and I didn’t say anything to you, because I knew you would have poked that bear. But I thought about it, and thought about it. And while I was thinking about it, Cat went in for a sonogram. We found out that Brielle had a heart defect, that might need surgery as soon as she was born.”

I jerked my head back. “Younevertold me that.”

“We never told anybody. We agreed on it, because we didn’t want anybody stressing us out about it. People find out stuff like that, and they always want to call and ask, and stop by the house, and this and that, and Cat just wantedpeace. She was carrying my child, and wearing my ring, so I honored that for her. Nobody except me and her, aside from the doctors, knew that we knew Bri was likely to need surgery. I didn’t even tell Joseph.”

I swallowed hard. “Why are you telling me this now, Justin?”

“Because I’m not trying to make myself seem like some martyr, like I took that deal just to keep Lion from coming after you. Once I found out about Bri, my decision was made, because I needed that money to make sure I could take care of my little girl.”

“I would have helped you, Justin!”

“I know that,” he insisted. “I know you would have not gotten on the plane to talk to those authors, and put what you would have spent on airfare in my bank account. Or not spent that money on marketing, or hiring the help you needed, and a long list of other shit that would have run your business in the ground, trying to help me.”

“Because that’s what friendsdo. I would have made it work, somehow.”

“Right… but at what cost to you? Would your business be where it is now if I made a different choice? Maybe, or maybe not. But at the time, I did what I thought was right.”

I stared at him for several seconds, then shook my head. “No. We were best friends, Justin! We didn’t keep those types of things from each other!”

“My hands were tied, Toni! And even if they weren’t… at 23 years old, with a sick child on the way, and this company threatening somebody I loved… it felt like it. I have the mother of my child not wanting to tell anybody what’s going on, and trying to keep her stress-free. I have this company who I have no reason to believe won’t destroy meandyou if I say anything. What was I supposed to do? I’m not making excuses here Toni. I messed up. I’m just trying to get you to understand that I didn’t break the rules you think I did. And I didn’t tell you because I didn’t feel Icould.”

My throat was tight as I processed his words. I’d never known Justin to be a liar, but… was I supposed to believe him now, about lying to me back then?

And if Ididbelieve him… that meant…

Everything I thought about the whole situation had been wrong. Lion had used that very same threat of burying me under litigation to keep me quiet when they stole my authors before, after offering me an imprint under their umbrella. Instead of spending my time, money, and energy fighting, I just started over – and ended up with a few of their authors. Which was probably why they’d gone after Justin.

And the thing with Cat’s pregnancy… that struck me as the truth too. I knew how overbearing people got when it came to babies, pregnancy, all of that, so I understood her wanting the privacy. And I understood Justin giving it to her. Romantic relationships had a whole list of unspoken rules all their own.

“I’m telling you now because I’m not signed with them anymore. No options, no nothing, done. And nothing they could say could make me return. And… because you’re back. You’ve been jetting all over the world, ignoring emails… the only way we could have had this conversation is in person.”

“But you endured this by yourself.” My voice cracked as I spoke, and Justin made it around those boxes, and was right in front of me by the time my eyes started burning with tears. “I was supposed to be your friend, and I let you—”

“Stop,” he said, wrapping his arms around me, and pulling me tight. “You had every right to be pissed, Tee. I just didn’t expect you to stay pissedso long,” he chuckled.

“Rule seventy—”

“— eight,” he finished for me, and I looked up, still gathered in his embrace. He reached up, using a thumb to swipe away the tears that had spilled down my cheeks.

“We messed this up, completely. Didn’t we?”

He chuckled, and nodded. “Yeah, we did. But… Rule #52.”

“There’s always time for course-correction.”

“Right.” He wiped away another stray tear. “I love you, Tee.”

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