Page 9 of Arden and the Girl Downstairs

Arden

“What the fuck? Rhys, you’re an asshole,” I splutter, sitting up and using the sheet to wipe the water from my face. It’s not the first time Rhys has let himself into my room, and it’s not even the first time he has tipped water on my head.

“Not Rhys, you twat waffle.” A female voice I vaguely recognise jars me out of the last of my lingering grogginess. I open my eyes and blink several times.

My gaze catches on feet clad in hideous unicorn slippers, then roams upward to admire toned legs. The hem of her shirt hangs to just above her knees, and it’s black and baggy with “Come at me, Bro” drawn on the front.

Really? I thought slogan tees died in the nineties . . .

I get to her face and blink in confusion.

Who the fuck let Ella in here? I don’t know her, but I’ve seen her around. How did she get into my room? I take time to look at her face.

She’s cute, kind of. Except for the fact that her messy blond hair has pink ends, and she’s wearing a slogan tee and unicorn slippers outside of the house.

If looks could kill, I’d be dead. She seems pissed.

I think back to last night and come up blank. It’s the same as every other night for the past two months. I have no memory of what I did.

“Why the fuck are you here, and how did you get in?” I croak, my throat dry from one too many drinks last night.

“You’re an asshole. How dare you send me a breach notice,” she yells, picking up a can of deodorant off my dresser and throwing it at my head. She’s got good aim for someone so small. A breach notice? I don’t recall why I would have sent her one. At the start, I was trying to find ways to get rid of her, but then it became more important to chase away the feelings of guilt by drinking. I haven’t really tried to evict her since.

I dodge the flying projectile, only to get smacked in the head with the remote she launches at me straight after.

“Ouch, you psycho,” I say, rubbing my head. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I swing my legs off the bed with the aim of calling Ralph to come and remove this crazy woman from my bedroom.

We need to talk about changing the locks. I look at the clock: just after 7 a.m. I doubt anyone is awake, and there is no way they would’ve let her into the house.

We have rules.

To protect everyone.

I look at her again—she’s furious.

I try once more to remember last night.

Nothing.

“You’re a jerk,” she yells. I continue to stare at her, confused. I’d normally react, but everything about this is weird and I’m not sure what the best course of action is. I can thank Jimmy, Jack, and José for my reactions being off.

Lots of alcohol and lack of sleep will do that to someone.

I see the moment she realises I really have no idea what she’s talking about.

Without another word, she turns on her heels and storms out of my room.

What was she yelling about a breach notice for? Just like every other morning after, I have no clue what I did last night. I wrack my brain, trying to remember something, but I come up empty.

There’s no point trying to go back to sleep. I need to be at the hospital at 9 a.m. to meet with the doctors to discuss Julia’s discharge plan.

* * *

After my shower, I send a message to the group chat.

Arden: Did any of you see a 5ft nothing crazy person wearing unicorn slippers this morning?

I sit on the bed and wait for their replies. I know they’ll be eating breakfast together. I’ve been a jerk lately and haven’t been showing up for breakfast or dinner. Instead, I’ve been drinking my way through every pub in New Hope, trying to find answers at the bottom of bottle after bottle. No luck yet.

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