Page 33 of Arden and the Girl Downstairs

“It’s okay, I’m used to doing this on my own. Please don’t beat yourself up. I promise I’m okay. You can message me later if you are allowed to.” I don’t know why I’m encouraging him, but deep down it feels nice having someone care, and I’m tired.

“Nothing will stop me from messaging you, Ella. You won’t be able to get rid of me now.”

I don’t fight him, mumbling my okay. We say goodbye, and I slowly make my way into my lounge room to find Ralph waiting for me.

“Julia has gone to set up the theatre room,” he says, then heads over to me and helps me hobble up to the luxurious mini cinema in Arden’s house.

Arden

“Now, Arden, how do you feel about going home tomorrow?”

I stare at the therapist I’ve been seeing every day for the last four weeks. He’s younger than I was expecting. When they told me I had to speak to a therapist daily, I sat in this office the first day waiting for some old guy close to retirement age to show up. You know, the ones you see in the movies. So, when Lucas walked in and introduced himself as my shrink—his words not mine—I thought he was joking.

He was not.

I was cautious at first; he looked only a few years older than me. What was he going to know about the feelings I had and the guilt that plagued me?

I was wrong, though, and I’m strong enough to admit that. It took a few days to open up—I don’t trust easily—but when I finally did, it was like releasing the floodgates. Being sober helped, but at the same time, it made me feel shitty. Because I remembered every conversation I’d had with Ella.

Every time I went into Grumpy’s, it was on autopilot. I wanted to be close to her because on the nights I didn’t see her, I was plagued with nightmares and tossed and turned all night. It was as if subconsciously I knew she was the one that was going to bring me back; I was drawn to her, even though sober Arden had barely spoken to her.

Sober Arden has been talking to her plenty now. After her flare up a few weeks back, we’ve messaged daily, with the occasional phone call.

Replaying last night’s conversation has me smiling while I respond to Lucas. “I feel great. I can’t wait to get home to see everyone.”

“Are you going to be okay seeing Julia?”

It took some time, but Lucas finally convinced me that what happened with Julia wasn’t my fault, and had I been there, the outcome would’ve likely been the same.

“Yep. I miss her. Like I said, we only really got her back again last year when she became friends with Millie. I realise I need to step back and just be there when she needs me.”

“That’s great. I’m happy with the progress you have made and how you are now dealing with what happened. Medically speaking, you weren’t an alcoholic. You were using it as a way to cope, and fortunately for you, you got help before it went too far. You didn’t even go through the usual detox process. So, what about Ella? How do you feel about everything she did to get you here? It can’t be an easy pill to swallow.”

We’ve discussed Ella in a lot of detail, but what hit me was the fact I’m not angry with her. If anything, I admire her. Now that I remember every conversation we ever had, I’m convinced there was no ulterior motive besides what was agreed. And, really, she would not be getting a lot from the arrangement. She only did this for me, and my friends and family. Lucas knows that I don’t hate her, but I haven’t told him what my plan is when I leave here tomorrow.

Keeping my voice casual, I respond. “I appreciate what she did. As much as I love my friends, I don’t think anyone else would’ve been able to get me here.”

“What’s the plan when you see her?” he asks curiously.

“I’m going to win her over.”

Lucas spits his coffee across the table. “You . . . you’re going to dowhat?”

I let out a small chuckle as I lean forward and slide the box of tissues over to him. “You heard me, doc. I’m going to win her over.”

“You know you can get an annulment, right?”

“Yeah, but I’m not doing that. I believe marriage is a one-time thing. It’s why I didn’t actually date in high school. All those girls wanted was the life I could give them. Ella is different.”

“But you barely know her.”

I’ve stunned Lucas, and it’s kind of funny. As far as shrinks go, he’s great, but I’m enjoying the fact that I’ve surprised him. He didn’t even blink when I told him about our eighteenth birthday party last year, or what I did at graduation. But this...

This got him.

“She feels more familiar, now that I remember, but that’s beside the point. We might be doing things backwards, but I’m not letting that girl get away.”

“Arden, I suggest you reconsider your decision. Are you planning to do this because you genuinely want to be with her, or do you think you can save her?”

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