Page 31 of Wicked

Seconds tick by.

Finally, he speaks. “You forget he has to choose you too. Action speaks louder than words.”

Ryker walked me to my car but left with that jerk Brett, not even sparing me a backward glance. Am I wrong? Is he more like Brett than I thought?

I accepted his offer of “anything” in the hopes I’d wear him down and get him to drop the bet in futility, but Ryker is persistent. Fun to be around too. Surprises me with how big his heart is when he shows me that side of him. And the way my body reacts when near him . . . I sigh.

The arrangement is supposed to be temporary. I’d let it go on for two weeks, tops. That was my plan. But my dad’s murder changedeverything.

I return to the conversation. “You’re scared.”

“Concerned. I’m worried you chose wrong. That you picked a weak link to unseat me from my spot as top dog in your life.”

“A guard dog I never wanted.”

“You’ve always wanted me, Harper. It’s what got us in trouble in the first place. Had you dropped the idea of us together, we’d—”

“Live different lives, apart. Instead, you let a dying man guilt you into making a promise.”

“Me at your side has nothing to do with guilt but an obligation to keep you safe. That boy you picked isn’t it. He will never be strong enough to take my place.”

I ignore the possessiveness in his voice. It never goes away. Only grows stronger with time.

“He’s a man, Shephard.”

“Your father was a man. Mike Ramirez is a man. Just because your man looks like one doesn’t mean he has the honor and strength to do right by you.”

“Give me the chance to prove he’s the one.”

“Whatcha gonna do, let him fuck you?”

I’m silent for so long, I don’t have to speak my answer.

“You can’t be serious. Do you know what his nickname is on the app girls on campus use to rate guys they’ve slept with?”

“I do. I also know he’s into open relationships.”

“Is that what you want, little one? To know on nights he’s not with you, he’s with someone else?”

No, but I don’t give Ryker’s preference for open relationships much thought beyond the moment. Ever since my assault and Shephard’s and my move to Prescott, all we’ve done is plan. I long to live in the moment. To not have my past nipping at my heels. I just want to figure out things with Ryker as I go.

Not the best plan. He’s an obvious heartbreaker. But it’s not like I’ll be falling for him.

“What does he rate between the sheets? Did you pay attention to that rating? I did. The girls he slept with rave of how great he is in bed.”

An exasperated sigh from the other end of the line. “If that’s all you’re looking for in a bed partner, I can give you that.”

“We’ve gone over this. You’re too close to my past to make a future between us work.”

“In the end, who you fuck doesn’t change what matters most. Will he accept you for you after hearing of the godawful shit you went through in that hellhole?”

He’s right. Then again, Shephard always is. It’s the reason I listen to him. The reason I follow the rules he sets for me though I’m not always happy when I stick by them.

“Eventually, you have to let me go, Shephard. You can’t fight my fight forever. I need . . .” My throat tightens. I blink back my tears. “I want you to live your own life too. Please.”

“Not yet. Not until I know you’re safe.”

My mind reasons for me to accept his words. He knows of my messed-up past. A past no man on earth will ever understand or put up with in a woman he’d want to be with. My heart, though, has a different message. It’s telling meIshould be the one who does the letting go. To give up Shephard’s protection and not replace it with another’s.

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