Page 34 of Burning Hearts

“Your family is the best. Why does it sound like you know what it feels like to be forgotten?”

Logan glanced over and saw she was looking at him. “Because I do. Maybe to some people it doesn’t seem like that big of a deal, but it made such an impression on me I’ve never managed to let go of it.”

Part of what he had learned about God that he appreciated the most was the fact his Father in heaven could stand in the gap. Especially helpful considering Logan’s dad had a medical condition that had changed the relationship they’d always had before the car accident. Logan didn’t feel the lack when God would always be there. He would never forget about Logan, even while Logan’s father was deteriorating and often asked who he was.

Not his dad’s fault.

But it didn’t lessen the pain any.

“What happened?” She curled her legs up on the seat, her body turned toward his.

Logan watched the jump base dog trot between two buildings and cross the runway, coming toward them. “I can’t remember exactly, but I must have been about twelve, because I was in middle school. My mom worked a lot, you already know that. But back then, my dad did as well. Having two working parents meant there was a nanny who picked us up from school or whatever afterschool thing we had, athletics or music lessons.

“Bryce and I had baseball practice. The nanny was brand-new, and it was her first day. She showed up with Andi to take us home. I was in the bathroom, and she loaded up Bryce and drove home with him and Andi. Everyone at school had gone home, so there was no one in the building. And I didn’t have a cell phone until I got my driver’s license. So I just sat on the curb for a while.”

“The nanny didn’t know you and Bryce were twins?”

Logan shook his head. “Bryce and Andi tried to tell her, but she didn’t believe them. She thought they were joking just to mess with her.”

“What did you do?”

“It started to get dark, so I walked home. It was about six miles, and I was starving hungry. I remember seeing a stray dog, and it lunged at me. When I got home, I walked in the kitchen door, and my mom had just got home as well. She was like, ‘Oh, there you are,’ and no one else said anything. Mom probably thought I was just in the yard.”

The next day, the nanny had been pretty surprised that there were two Crawford boys and their sister. But it wasn’t like she had apologized for leaving him behind, since she would have had to admit her mistake to their mom.

“Maybe my life wasn’t always as perfect as you thought it was.” But then, despite the impression it left on him, it really was one small thing that had happened when he was in middle school.

Jamie reached over and laid her hand on his. “I’m sorry you got left behind.”

Logan stared at their hands. “Thanks.” He swallowed against the lump in his throat, trying to be brave like that night. Despite the fear. Despite what lurked beyond the edges of his awareness.

But underneath it all, he was still a scared little boy trying to be brave.

The dog wandered close enough to sniff their hands.

Jamie chuckled. “Hi, dog.”

“This is Jubal.” And he’d totally broken the tension in the air between them.

Animals had a way about them. Logan always felt better with an affectionate dog around. His life just didn’t lend itself to him having one, never being around to take care of it.

He gave Jubal a rubdown. “I think that’s why I became a firefighter. First in Last Chance County.” Then as a wildland firefighter after he and Jamie had broken up, doing what he loved but as far from the pain of seeing her as possible. “Now out here.”

“Because you’re a hero.” She smiled at the dog. “It’s who you’re supposed to be.”

“I do it because I meet people on their worst day, and I see them with the same fear in their eyes that I probably had realizing I was all alone. And I let them know that, despite what it feels like, they aren’t forgotten.”

She squeezed his hand.

Logan turned his over and linked their fingers. “Even out here. Maybe especially out here because a lot of people don’t have help close by. We get to make a difference in their lives and try to make sure they don’t lose everything they’ve built.”

* * *

Logan traced his thumb across the back of her hand. Not exactly what Jamie had thought they’d be talking about out here, but it was honestly reassuring to hear that the Crawfords might not be so perfect after all. Still, she couldn’t imagine being twelve and forgotten about like that.

She looked at the fire. “I don’t know when I first became aware that I’d have to do things for myself because my mom certainly wasn’t going to.”

Logan shifted in his chair but didn’t say anything.

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