Page 40 of The Romance Rivalry

“Well, it kinda is, now that Aiden’s involved,” I say.

“Speaking of... you’ve spent more time with Aiden than any other guy. Do you think...”

I was worried she might take the conversation there. I’m not ready to even think about this. There’s just no way. “Do I think what?”

“It’s just that you two get each other. I swear you have these secret codes and a language that just the two of you understand. It’s kinda sexy watching how you bicker, and it puts a sparkle in your eye I never see with anyone else. Forget the challenge. The purpose of the plan was to fall in love, find your HEA. Maybe the plan is actually secondary to the person you’re doing the plan with.”

“You mean you, right? The one I’m doing the plan with? I do love you, Jeannette,” I deflect.

“Okay, okay, I’ll let it go. And I love you, too,” she says.

“It’s just... I’m scared I’m too emotionally stunted to fall in love,” I admit. “I think this is why this plan felt like theright path in the beginning. If I see them as tropes, and not as real guys, then I’m not as afraid to try. I can play the part of the main character, just like in the books I read, and I know what to do. Like a love manual. I know these books inside and out.”

“But that’s not real life, Irene. Sounds like an easy way to avoid feelings or emotions. What are you afraid of, do you think?” God, she’s gonna make a great therapist one day.

“I’m afraid of someone not choosing me. I’m afraid of being rejected. I’m afraid... I’m not worthy to be loved.” I look up, eyes wide with surprise. I hadn’t expected to admit all of that to anyone.

But Jeannette’s smile is kind and understanding. “Is that why you love your online presence so much? Because these people choose to press a button to follow you and to check in on you every time you post?”

“Yeah, I guess. They accept me for who I am.”

“But that’s not who you are completely. That’s just another role you’re playing. I’ve been getting to know all these colorful and deep parts of you, and it’s better than I could have expected. Why won’t you let people see this?”

“Well... you’re my bestie, so you get special privileges,” I say, nudging her with my shoulder.

Her smile spreads across her entire face and the light of it threatens to blind me. “I’m not sure if you realized this or not, but you’ve shown some of these parts to Charles andAiden, too. Aiden most of all.”

I blush, embarrassed that I’ve let my guard down so easily with so many people.

“Well, we’re all friends, right? And I know what you’re thinking, but Aiden and I aren’t like that. You know how I feel about enemies-to-lovers. I’m not interested in reading it, and I’m not interested in living it.”

But even in my head, it doesn’t feel right calling Aiden my enemy anymore.

Epigraph

You know, the more I think about it, the more I’m certain I’d never want to end up with someone like me. Feels like the scales would be totally unbalanced that way. Would a pairing other than opposites attract work? I have my doubts. You’re welcome for the unsolicited relationship advice from your resident romance book reviewer. Ha!

—@irene.loves.love.books

The author did a great job of making everything about the lives of our MCs opposite in every way while slowly revealing that inside, they’re more alike than anyone would have guessed. This shit is so romantic, it has my heart in a vise grip.

—@aidentheguyreadsromance

Nine

opposites attract

The last thing I want to do right now is meet Aiden in the library to work on our lit project. But we’re halfway through the semester and haven’t made much progress. In a nutshell, we’re just short of being screwed.

Aiden has never struck me as someone who gets angry. He’s way too unaffected for that. Yet I feel antsy that any day now, he’ll confront me about my lack of effort on our project and I’ll have to admit that I am dropping the ball. Not only have I not done any of the reading, I’ve fallen behind on my assigned journal entries, including the ones that have specific prompts regarding our big project.

And that impacts Aiden as well.

This Intro to Lit course is currently causing my anxiety to go through the roof, thus making it my least favorite class. There’s just so much writing and editing, way more than Iexpected. I was hoping for more reading and discussing, if I’m being honest.

Oh, and there’s the quickly approaching Parents Day, when my folks will be coming to visit. Of course, there’s also the very concerning data point that my online account growth has stalled almost completely. And oh yeah, there’s the fact that despite wasting all this time dating a bunch of turkeys, I still haven’t found a boyfriend.

With SKCupid’s decision looming, I’m pretty certain I won’t be their choice. Heck, if I were them, I’d pick Aiden, too. Which means no big announcement to get my parents excited about one of my accomplishments. Relegating me back into my siblings’ shadows. But as I’m building a life of my own here at Brighton, a part of me wonders, would that be so bad after all?

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