Page 60 of The Romance Rivalry

“I wasn’t honest with my parents today about how hard college has been for me. I haven’t been honest with my professor, who now believes I have aspirations for something I have no talent for, and probably thinks this is going to become his burden. I haven’t been honest with my followers about how I’ve been in a bit of a book funk. Nothing really has been interesting me. And I haven’t been honest with Aiden about how I’m scared to death to move forward in whatever it is we’re doing without some clarity.”

“Well, it sounds like you’ve just been honest with me and yourself. Now you just have to tell them.” She nods inthe direction of outside and I see that our parents have all arrived, finished with their tour. My mom and dad wave at me through the window with embarrassingly huge grins on their faces.

God, I love them.

College was supposed to be a time for me to start over and find myself. To leave behind the person that I was as a kid and decide who I want to be moving forward. I thought that was gonna be a girl with a boyfriend. I thought that was gonna be a girl studying to be an editor and excelling, and now with my parents here, it’s clear I’m the same person behind the same mask.

I always thought making them happy was the way to show them my love. But maybe it’s figuring out what actually makes me happy, figuring out what I truly want and following my own dreams, that will show them how much they mean to me.

But what if being honest with my parents ends up disappointing them?

And what if being honest with Aiden ends up pushing him away?

I look back down at my phone like it’s a drug I can’t stay away from. Still no response.

Maybe honesty is just... overrated.

Epigraph

I giggle every time we get “just one bed.” I know, I’ve got the maturity of a twelve-year-old. But it’s just so squeal-worthy. “Oh no... only one bed, and it’s obviously a TWIN size and we both have to fit on it, despite the fact that you’re a massively huge guy... where will all the limbs go?” :) LOVE. LOVE. LOVE.

—@irene.loves.love.books

It’s the accidental touches that get me. “I didn’t mean to rub against you, the space is just TOO small.” To all the authors out there: I invite you to always include a “just one bed” scene. Thank you.

—@aidentheguyreadsromance

Fourteen

just one bed

I stand at Aiden’s dorm room, waiting before I knock.

I’ve got to get myself in the right headspace. We have a Live tonight where all of our followers will be there watching, listening, wanting to see what’s happening between us. Or maybe I’m just giving us too much credit. Maybe we’re not that interesting. Maybe no one will show up. Maybe it will be a train wreck.

This is exactly why I didn’t want to do this Live. And now that Aiden and I have entered into the murky waters of fake-dating-that-feels-suspiciously-real, I don’t have my bearings.

And yet, because everyone else seemed to think it was such a great idea, here I am.

I’m not sure if I’m angry that he hasn’t texted me in two days and didn’t respond when I was struggling and flailing during Parents Day. Or if I’m worried—worried that hehasn’t texted me in two days, worried that Aiden, who can’t seem to help but come to the rescue, wasn’t there.

I’m actually feeling both those things but am reluctant to admit to either.

In any case, I won’t know until I talk to him, so I knock. Aiden answers right away, as if waiting at the door for me to get here. I narrow my gaze, shamelessly examining every inch of him, looking for clues as to how he’s feeling, what’s going on.

I don’t know what I’m looking for, but, god, he looks so good. His hair a little disheveled, his eyes red-rimmed and slightly haunted, dark circles rest on the top of his cheeks. But still, my heart picks up its pace and my stomach rolls a tiny bit as if in anticipation of the first drop of a roller coaster.

I’m here. He’s here.

“Hey,” he says, a small smile crossing his face. He reaches out and pulls me inside, closing the door and then gently crowding me against it. He leans into me and presses his forehead to mine. Like he’s drawing strength or comfort from this connection. I wonder if he realizes that every time he’s done this, I’m the one who ends up feeling like I can fly.

He pulls away slightly, but before I can say hello in return, his lips are on mine. He catches me just as I’m mid-gasp, and with my mouth parted, his tongue finds its way in. His kiss is needy, hungry, and I fist my hands into the back of his shirt, holding on, pulling him even closer to me, if that’s possible. Iforget all the questions I had in my head. Whatever it is he’s going through, whatever is on his mind, I want to be there for him and give him this.

It feels so good to be this close to Aiden.

A deep groan rumbles through him. It reverberates all over my body. I lean my head to the side so his mouth can get better purchase. I’m amazed at how well we just fit together. The feeling of accomplishment when an elusive puzzle piece is found and snaps into place.

My hands move up to his head and my fingers explore the softness of his thick hair. I lean back against the door, letting my hips push forward a bit as they meet his hardness and obvious interest. Something about the power I feel making him this excited and turned-on emboldens me, and I press against him again.

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