Page 55 of The Romance Rivalry

Jeannette giggles from her side of the room. “I’m gonna go down to the deli to get some snacks. Be back in a few,” she whispers. I appreciate her giving me some privacy to FaceTime with my folks. But knowing my parents, they’ll be screaming so loud into the phone, she’ll still be able to hear us from two floors down.

“You look tired, honey. Are you not sleeping enough?” my mom asks. “I’ll bring you some eye cream when I come. You need to wear eye cream, even when you’re young.”

“Yeobo, it’s college. She’s probably up late studying. That’s a good thing,” my dad says. He looks back into the screen at me. “Yes, Irene, you stay up as long as you need to for studying. But use your mom’s eye cream, too.”

I appreciate that he suspects I’d be up studying instead of partying. Sadly, I haven’t been doing much of either. In fact, I was going to spend the night trying to finish the new book I’ve been reading so I’ll have a quick video to post tomorrow. Once that’s off my plate, I can focus on getting some much needed studying in.

“Don’t worry. Everything’s going well over here. How are you guys? How’s Cyb and Eug?”

“Good, good, everyone is the same here. Eugene won a big tournament in Ojai last weekend so he should be ranked in the top two by end of year. If he wins in Sedona, he’ll be number one for sure,” Dad tells me.

“That’s amazing. I’ll send him a text later to congratulate him.”

“Don’t forget. He loves getting your messages,” Mom says.

My heartstrings tug a bit thinking of my little brother at home without me. He’s a good kid. I need to remember to reach out more just to check in.

“And we also got some great news for Cybil, too. She landed a new campaign for the Innisfree green tea sunscreen. It’s supposed to be a virus, so you’ll probably see her when you’re on the internet,” Mom says.

“Viral, Mom. The campaign will be viral, not a virus. Those are two different things,” I explain. Though the thought of Cybil with a virus is hilarious.

She waves her hand, shooing off the details. She thinks everything that happens behind my computer screen is all one thing called “The Internet” and that I am the one who dabbles in it. It’s good news hearing wins for my siblings. My parents beam with pride.

And now they wait. Wait for something, anything, from my end.

But I don’t have anything, not yet, and possibly not at all. At least not from SKCupid like I’d hoped. And whenever I try to explain to them the things that occupy my time, they just don’t get it.

“Are your classes going well? Tell us everything. Are you enjoying the college experience?” Dad waits for me to pepper in as much Brighton lore as I can so he can jump in and add his own memories to the mix.

“Are you cold at night?” Mom asks. “Should I bring you an extra blanket, an electric one, maybe, when we come up this weekend for Parents Day?”

“Mom, it’s next weekend. Please make sure you have it right on the calendar. Next weekend. And no need for an extra blanket. I’m fine, I promise.”

They wait. They smile. They worry behind their eyes.

“Well.” I take the plunge off the deep end. No going back. “My Intro to Lit class is incredible. You were right, Mom. Once I got into the mindset of editing, reading books really changed for me. And Dad, I can hardly believe how talented the staff is here at Brighton. I feel like my professors make it so easy to learn and expand my mind.” Okay, so I’m laying it on a little thick, but I panicked.

I also feel a bit nauseous from the lies. Because if anything, my classes are possibly the worst part about this whole experience to date. But I’m their first and only kid in college. I’m certainly smart enough to master it all, right?

I had one job, in their minds, one role to play in this family, and I’m blowing it.

“So, I should get back to studying. Thanks for calling. I’ll see you next weekend. Remember, next weekend! I can’t wait.”

“Irene, wait, there’s one more thing we want to talk to you about.”

I freeze in place, my goodbye smile already plastered on my face.

“Mrs. Kim from the H Mart told us at church last week that her daughter has been watching your videos on the internet. She said some very nice things. But I was confused because her daughter mentioned how it’s fun seeing you filming now from your college dorm room,” Mom says. No accusation yet, but the facts have been laid out there.

I swallow and try to think of how to respond.

“I thought we agreed that you’d stop spending so much time posting videos and book stuff once you got to school and had more important responsibilities and pressure for your time.” Dad, coming in with the knockout punch.

I want to tell them thatwedid not agree to that. I want to remind them that this was something they said to me and not something I said back to them. They still don’t get it. They still don’t see what I do as something valuable or worth prioritizing. As something to celebrate and brag about to others. And it’s not only frustrating, it also hurts.

But I don’t say any of that. Because they won’t understand. And I don’t want to disappoint them.

“You guys don’t need to worry. I know what’s important and how to prioritize my time and efforts. I’m your first kid in college, remember? No way I’m gonna mess up this opportunity to study and become an editor.” It’s like I’m reciting words I’ve memorized for occasions such as this. In fact, I’m certain I’ve used those exact lines in some form before.

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