“Ha. I can identify,” I said, as we walked the hall together.
She turned. “Things with Carrie good? Because from where I’m sitting, they look good.” She leaned in with wide eyes. “Reallygood. Like, get-a-room good, and I say that as a compliment.”
I sighed. “Yes. It’s been amazing.” In reality, I think the moment I went on air as anchor, things got harder for her. She watched from her couch as I performed the job she’d loved, and with each passing day she got a little quieter.
“Hey, beautiful girl. How was work today?” she’d asked a few nights earlier.
I slid out of my blazer, kissed my dog, who pranced at my feet like a jaunty fellow, and joined her on the couch.
“Devonte was on comm tonight and was constantly in my ear until the second we went live. I never got a minute to compose or organize once I arrived at the desk.”
“Yeah, you have to tell him to chill out. When he fills in, he’s sometimes a little too present. Better yet, have Kristin talk to him about those last few moments before air. They’re important for you. Claim them. You have that power now. People will do as you say.”
“Great advice.” I kissed her cheek. “How was your day?”
She shrugged. “You’re kinda looking at it. Micky and I had lots of snuggle time. He’s a blanket hog, by the way, but we’re working it out.” Right on cue, he leaped onto the couch, turned in four circles and collapsed. All of his people were now accounted for, and he could tap out. “Sherry called for a work session. We touched base briefly on some first episode content, and she’s batting around some titles for the show.”
“I have a feeling they all feature your name.”
“I guess. I don’t know.” She wasn’t herself. Where was the joy? I missed it. “Am I a food and wine personality? I’m just trying to imagine the fit. The day-to-day. And it’s hard.”
“It’s new, and that’s probably why it feels weird.”
She exhaled. “That’s a good word for it, weird. And who knowsif it will even happen? They could scrap the whole idea. Maybe I’ll be stuck in this house forever until I spend every last dime I have and get a job as a bartender somewhere and listen to other people’s troubles.”
“Somehow I don’t see that as your path,” I said with a laugh, trying to keep things light.
“You never know. I’m just warning you of a possible detour now.”
The night after that one, I came home to find her irate at a tray of chicken breasts. She’d told me not to eat a full meal, so I’d abstained from anything more than a bag of chips. I stared at the series of bowls and pans that lined the countertops. It looked like a late-night flour bomb had hit the room with aggression.
“Don’t eat those,” she said, pointing at what looked to be perfectly cooked chicken breasts along with some sort of brown sauce. “They’re horrible and don’t represent me. I was trying a new recipe, and it’s an epic loss.” She sighed loudly, a defeated hand to her hip. “I wanted to pamper you with a nice dinner when you got home, but I can’t seem to do that right, either.” She tossed a pan into the sink with a clang.
I winced. “Either?”
“Just not a ton of life successes these days,” she said and wiped her forehead with the back of her hand, signaling that she’d had a time of it tonight. She gestured to me. “You look great, though. I hope your day was good. Was it?”
“It was. And thank you.” I glanced down at my on-air attire. A dark green dress, silver necklace, and heels. “One of my new outfits. The consultants like the color on me.”
“Because it’s gorgeous.Youare. Hi.” She came to me and kissed me hello, and I went to warm putty. Best part of my day so far, and it had already been a good one. “I’m sorry I don’t look half as good.”
“What are you talking about? You’re beyond attractive.” How could she not know that? Even in this moment, she amazed me with her God-given beauty. “And don’t worry about the chicken.”
“Trying not to, but what are you going to eat?”
I pulled out a pot and deposited it on the stove. “Hot, buttery popcorn with a side of spiced rum. Solved.”
She smiled but her eyes were watery. “Good. Yes. I just want you to be happy.” She stared at the floor in pause. “I’ll be right back.” She held up one finger and disappeared into the bedroom. I had a nagging feeling she’d taken a moment to gather herself. When she returned, she was smiling, noticeably lighter on her feet, and eager to hear all about my day. While admirable, I didn’t want her to bypass her own feelings.
“Carrie. It’s okay to have a hard day and let yourself feel that.”
“Yeah, I’m not sure that’s the best course of action to right my tilting ship.” She squeezed my hand as she passed, grabbing the oil, clearly intent on making the popcorn for me. “You, however, do the opposite, Sky, and make everything better.”
I came up behind her as she poured the kernels into the pot with a rat-a-tat and wrapped my arms around her, savoring the connection I’d missed all day. “It’s crazy, and you’re literally not going to believe this, but I feel the same about you. I missed you today. We’re twins.” I’d give anything to have her back at work with me. Things weren’t the same, regardless of my newfound status. I kissed a path up her neck, prompting her to pause what she was doing and lean back against me, allowing me to hold her in silence. We stayed like that for a little while, and the world seemed to settle and slow.
But when Kristin asked, I decided to level about how things had been going outside work. She had become a fantastic sounding board. “I think Carrie’s floundering. Trying to find her new place in the world, and it’s not clicking.”
“Huh.” Her brow furrowed, and she pursed her lips. “I was hopeful she’d take this new freedom and run with it. She’s going to land on her feet. We all know that.”