Page 80 of To the Moon and Back

“Lauren. Just listen, I—”

“I don’t blame you, Carly, okay? Does that help? You can leavehere feeling better and go back to your world with a clear conscience thatlittle Lauren is just fine.” Her eyes were watery when she said it. There wasalso a resolve present, and that hurt more. “You were just living your life. Iwas in the way.”

“You were never that. I was dealing with issues of my own.”

Carly wasn’t able to process all of this at once. It was too much.What had she done? Turned into a petty, self-involved starlet who wasn’tgetting the kind of jobs she thought worthy of herself. Never before had such astartling mirror been held up to her face. It nearly brought her to her knees.She hated herself and every action she’d taken since leaving Minneapolis. “Youdeserve so much better than all of this.”

Lauren offered a sincere smile. “I think everything happens for areason, you know? We were a team on that show. Maybe that’s what we were meantfor. Now we go our separate ways.”

“We’re still a team.”

“Sometimes things don’t work out the way we expect them to, andthat’s okay.” Lauren looked like she was trying to convince herself of thatjust as strongly as she was Carly.

“That’s not what this is. Look at me.” Lauren did and the minutethey connected, Carly knew she was right. “You and I are supposed to betogether,” Carly said, her chest tight. “If we aren’t, why would I feel thisway?”

“I’m not sure I agree.” She watched as the guard Lauren had inplace seemed to fall away. “Do you think I don’t miss you?” Her voice wasstrangled with emotion. She placed a shaky hand over her heart. “Of course Ido. Every day. But I’ve been missing you for a while now, and it’s become clearthat maybe I’m not the best person for you. Maybe you’re not the best for me.”

“Are you positive of that?”

A long pause struck. “No.”

“Good. Then hear me out. I’m here because you mean more to me thanany job. I lost myself somewhere in a swarm of personal disappointment anddidn’t see what was right in front of me—the true source of my happiness was anuptight stage manager turned talented actress, and the best scene partner I’veever had in my life.” She took a moment with the next part. “Give me a secondchance. I promise to learn from my mistakes.”

Lauren hadn’t moved a muscle. “I don’t think we’re ready for that.I don’t think you are.”

“What does that mean?”

“I think you need some time for yourself, to sort out your world.”Lauren was being too nice, but Carly translated. She was telling Carly to workonherself. Itwasn’t the answer she wanted, but it also wasn’t a firmly closed door. Shecould work with a crack. She had to. It was all she had left.

“And while I do that? Will you come back to LA?”

“Not while the next show is in production. I talked to my agent aboutstepping back. Maybe I’ll pick up a role here or there along the way in thefuture. Make myself a bit of a hybrid. Others have done it.”

Carly nodded, trying to get past the painful lump in her throat.“I can’t convince you, huh? What if I picked up and moved here? I’d do it.”

Lauren shook her head, her conviction apparent. “I don’t want usto go down the same path all over again. You need to gather your world. Maybethen, give me a call. We can catch up.”

Carly nodded, dejected. “I’ll do the work, okay? Because thisright here”—she gestured between them—“was supposed to be a two-month fling,and instead it’s changed me forever.”

Lauren’s eyes glistened with tears. “I can safely say the same.”

Carly slid her hands into her back pockets. “I can’t believe I’mgoing home without you. I don’t want to do this. Please don’t make me.” Her owneyes filled.

“I’m sorry.” Lauren touched her chest. “I have to look out for menow, okay?”

Carly nodded. This wasn’t at all what she wanted, but Lauren had avalid argument. Carly had to find happiness with her new place in the world.She had to stand on her own two feet if she wanted to walk in confidence nextto Lauren. “But know that I’m not giving up.”

Lauren nodded and opened her arms. Carley moved into them wordlessly.The tears fell hot and free down her face as they held each other. When Laurentook a shuddering breath and released her, Carly took a step back and wiped herwet face with a laugh. “What a pair we are.”

Lauren nodded. “We’ve come a very long way together.”

“And there’s so much more ahead.”

Lauren didn’t seem as convinced, but that just meant it was up toCarly to hope enough for the both of them. She was up to the challenge.

“Take care of yourself and Rocky and this amazing theater, okay?”She ran a dejected hand through her hair because there wasn’t much else to door say.

Lauren nodded through her tears. “You got it.”

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