Page 17 of To the Moon and Back

Now alone, she had a moment to get herself under control again.She was at Carly’s apartment on business, and her job was to keep the polishedstage manager veneer in place. She tried to cut herself a small break, however,because her feelings were edging to the surface, making it all feel like amessy, jumbled ball of competing emotions she had trouble separating. Plus, shewas in a strange state both mentally and physically, and it all began Saturdaynight. Carly got her all worked up and bothered in too many ways to keep trackof. Instead of trying, she forced herself to focus on the important issue athand. Carly missing her call time wasn’t charming or endearing. This was badbehavior and nothing new for Carly Daniel, according to the headlines, whichmade it worse. But then there was the Carly with the confident swagger at thebar, the sweet smile she afforded anyone in the rehearsal room. She never saidan unkind word to anyone, well, until today, and—

“Are you having a conversation with yourself?”

Lauren looked up from Carly’s couch, where she’d apparently satdown at some point, to see Carly studying her like an interesting scienceexperiment. “I was just sorting out all I need to get done today. It’s a lot,so we should get going.”

“Well, the warring expressions that just took turns on your facetell me that your day must be pretty dramatic. Conflict ridden, in fact.” Carlypaused and placed one hand on her hip. She now wore slim-fitting jeans, areally soft looking long-sleeved pink T-shirt with a dip at the neckline, andshort lace-up boots. Sigh. The universe was taunting her with a gorgeous moviestar who kissed like a goddess and had little regard for professionalism. Whata combo, indeed. That’s when she remembered that Carly was still regarding herexpectantly.

“I don’t know what my face was doing. I can’t always worry aboutmy face’s agenda. I was busy.” Lauren did her best to make sure her face nowappeared perfectly blank. She couldn’t decide if she’d succeeded and glanced aroundsurreptitiously for a mirror.

Carly eyed her knowingly. “It’s just that we haven’t seen eachother since the other night. Is that where your mind went?”

Chita Rivera, were they really doing this? Right now? On the heelsof a disagreement when they should be racing back to work? “Carly, we’re due atThe McAllister yesterday.”

“Good point.”

Lauren stood and walked to the door.

“We can talk about the porch kiss in the car,” Carly finished.

Everything came to a screeching halt, including Lauren. “No. No,we definitely shouldn’t do that. In fact, I don’t think we should talk about itat all. Ever.”

“Oh,” Carly said. Her tone was soft, and the knowing smile dimmed.“Got it.”

Lauren sighed at the pang of guilt that slammed her and tried toexplain. “It’s just that the whole thing, everything that night, was alcoholfueled, and skewed, and not a good representation of who I am as a person. As astage manager, I mean. This”—she gestured between herself and Carly—“nevershould have happened.”

Carly blinked once, and a distance settled between them, her eyesglacial. “Understood. A total mistake to erase from the history books.” Carlybreezed past her out of the apartment, seemingly unaffected.

While that should have been a good thing, an appropriateconclusion to their interaction, instead, it left Lauren feeling…listless,unsatisfied, and full of a tugging she couldn’t quite name. Just erased fromthe history books, huh? Wasn’t that what she wanted, though? Suddenly, shewondered.

Didn’t matter. They had a job to do. When her gaze drifted toCarly’s ass as they walked the length of the hallway, she reminded herself ofjust that.

It didn’t work.

* * *

Carly was over the judgmental attitude. Since when did being astage manager come with such a healthy dose of superiority? She was quiet inLauren’s care on the way to the theater. To cover the awkward silence, she sangquietly along with the radio, stealing an occasional glance at Lauren, who hadher hair pulled partially back today, with the ends in a lazy curl. Nope. Shewould not crush on Lauren any longer. She shook herself out of it and watchedthe road instead.

What a complete cluster the morning had been. Though she was notthrilled with herself for staying out with Kirby and her boyfriend so late andmissing her call time, she was equally annoyed with Lauren and the way she’dapproached the situation. Not only that, but now her head wasn’t in the game.She’d had trouble connecting to anything meaningful in the scene work withEvelyn as of late and felt like a fish flopping in the sand when it came to herwork onStarry Nights.

“You want to take our ten a little early?” Ethan asked herwearily, three hours later. He’d had a chip on his shoulder ever since she’darrived to work, part of which she attributed to her absence, and part to thelack of cohesion between her and Evelyn. They simply weren’t in sync. He rubbedhis forehead in a way that said his frustration with the scene was at a peak.They’d worked on the motivations leading up to the couple’s first kiss in act1, but everything they tried seemed to fall flat.

Carly turned to Evelyn for her opinion on whether to take thebreak but was met with only a half-hearted shrug.

“Yeah, let’s do that,” Carly said to Ethan. She watched as Evelynimmediately fled the space they shared like she couldn’t get out of there fastenough. Evelyn had mentioned several times that she was straight, and maybe thefemale romance was harder for her. But based on the speech she’d made about theimportance of such a play, it couldn’t have been the whole reason. Evelyndidn’t likeherand had made it abundantly clear, which would be fine, if she would set itaside for the work. She hadn’t. Her contempt for Carly read in every momentthey shared onstage together. The no-good morning had Carly in a mindset tolook into it.

“You have a second?” she said quietly to Evelyn, who was engrossedin something on her phone.

Evelyn raised her gaze to Carly’s. “Sure. What do you need?”

“To talk.” She leaned against the wall next to Evelyn and gearedup. Suddenly, she had a shot of nervous energy move through her, but this wastoo important a conversation to sidestep. If they could get past whateverconflict was between them as actresses, then maybe they could still turn thisthing around. “I feel like we’re not connecting in the scenes.”

“You don’t, huh?” She glanced back down at her phone, making Carlyfeel about two inches tall. “Trust me. We’re doing fine. We still have twoweeks left, and you’re just out of your element.”

Interesting response. “What’s my element, exactly?”

Evelyn gestured wildly with her phone in the open space beforesettling on a phrase. “Hollywood. La-la land. None of this is your speed, butit’s what I do for a living. I happen to have great respect for the process.”

“And you think I don’t?”

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