How could I protect my child when I couldn’t even protect myself?
My hand pressed down on my stomach.
It didn’t look any different from how it was before I found out I was pregnant or before I was even pregnant to begin with. How the hell was I supposed to get the idea of this baby in my head when I didn’t look or feel different?
I took in a deep breath and turned the corner. If I kept turning at every corner, I would be back to my motel room in no time.
Was this what my life had resorted to?
Turning around every corner and walking around a motel building until I could get back to where I had started—back to my motel room?
And nowhere else to go.
I looked down at my feet as I walked. The cemented pathway had disappeared, leaving gravel when I turned to the side of the building. The sun didn’t hit this part, and I shivered a little from the cool air.
I thought about the brothers as I walked, and not for the first time, I wondered if I had been a little rash in running away, but then I remembered I was pregnant because no one had given me birth control, and they hadallfucked me without a condom on. I was pregnant because they crossed a line.
My lips trembled at the thought, hating how indecisive I was, how angry I was, how… just everything. All these conflicting emotions that I didn’t know how to deal with.
I stopped my steps when I heard laughter just ahead of me.
Male laughter.
I looked up to see a group of three men standing at the corner I was about to turn that would lead me to the back of the building. They all had cigarettes hanging from their mouths. My nose twitched from the scent that I could smell now that I noticed it. I hesitated.
I didn’t know them. They could be nice.
Another one let out a cackle, sending shivers up and down my arms. Or they could be mean.
But that one small hesitation gave one of them the chance to look up and notice me. My heart dropped to my stomach, and I turned back around.
“Wait, where are you going, sweetheart?” the one who saw me called out. The other two laughed. I quickened my pace, which turned into a run, when I heard the gravel crunch behind me. I could see the corner just in front of me. If I could just get out from the side of the building, I might be safe.
Even I could hear the uncertainty in my thoughts.
Just as I was about to reach it, a hand grabbed onto my shoulder and pulled me back, hitting me against the wall. The man who stood in front of me was average looking and average height. There was somethingworn outabout him as he took me in, a creepy smile on his face. I should be thankful that his twofriends decided to stay behind, only to watch the spectacle with glee on their faces.
All I could think about was how I needed to get out of this situation now.
“What do you want?” I asked, trying to keep the emotions from my voice.
He smiled, revealing a row of front teeth filled with cavities. “We just wanted to hang, sweetheart.”
“Hang?”
He nodded. “Yup. Why don’t you come back with me and my friends? We have some good shit we wouldn’t mindsharing.”
His eyes roamed up and down my body as he said it, causing disgust to rise inside me.
“I’m good. Thank you.”
He grabbed a strand of my hair with one hand covered in dirt. I could see the black line beneath his fingernails. I pulled back, but he only pushed in closer to me, trapping me between the wall and his body. My heart fluttered from the panic I was trying hard to keep at bay.
“Let me go,” I said quietly.
“Ah, don’t be like that. We just want to be friends.”
“I don’t need friends.”