Page 126 of Savage Reign

The last part was said quietly. I relaxed my hands, no longer fighting to get away. Instead, I found my fists curling into the black shirt he had on.

“Why did you go see her?” I asked softly.

“To put old demons to rest.”

I frowned, and he reached up, soothing the pad of his finger between my eyebrows.

“She was older than me by three years. And I thought I was in love with her.”

“But you’re not?” I asked, wondering if she still had a part of him, even now. A part that would be totally untouchable to me.

He shook his head, smiling a little. “I never was. It was mostly infatuation. She came into my life when everything had felt so out of control. I was young and helpless. Maverick wasn’t much older than me, but already, he felt steady. He was the strength Silas and I needed to keep forging on, even when everything felt so… unbalanced.”

I didn’t try to meet his eyes. I had a feeling it was easier for him to tell me these things when he wasn’t looking at me.

“So I clung to her, never knowing she was stabbing me in the back. She was the one who gave your father the code to our gates, helping lead forty men onto our property that night, remaining undetected until they decided to attack. It was one of the reasons they were able to take over. That, and the fact that we were sorely outnumbered.”

I gasped, and he looked at me, his eyes unreadable. I raised my hand, about to cup his cheek, but hesitated. What if he rejected me?

I should have known better. Killian nuzzled into my palm. I took in his stubble, the hair a little more overgrown than how he usually wore it.

“You know I would never betray you, don’t you?” I asked. I needed him to know. Agent Jones could have come to me andoffered me the world, and I would have never spoken a word against the brothers.

His eyes softened—as much as he was able. “I know, little firecracker. I never doubted that.”

I nodded. “Good. ’Cause I love you so much. I?—”

“Shh, baby. I know. I know.”

I blinked away the sudden moisture that sprang into my eyes. Taking a deep breath, I tried to control my bearing.

I pulled away from Killian and looked back at the garden. “So you went to see her?”

He nodded. “Yeah.”

Did he kill her? I didn’t ask that, unsure if I really wanted to know the answer. I was surprised he’d actually let her live this long.

“No, I didn’t kill her,” Killian said, answering my unasked question.

My eyes widened slightly. “I didn’t say anything.”

He chuckled. “But you wanted to. I always knew where she was. She didn’t even recognize me. And her life is miserable. I thought that was a more fitting punishment than whatever I could have done to her.”

I didn’t need to ask him for the details.

“And you think you can finally put it behind you? Move on with me?” I asked.

He looked down at his wrist, his fingers tracing over the small black Roman numeral tattoo. “Yes, baby. She’s my past. And you’re my future. With you by my side, I am learning to forgive myself.”

My heart broke a little from his words. If he was just learning to forgive himself for the things that weren't his fault to begin with, then that meant he had lived the last nineteen years festering in guilt.

“You know it’s not your fault what happened, right? Someone you trusted took advantage of you,” I said softly.

He let out a small laugh. “You sound just like Maverick.”

“Because it’s true.”

He didn’t say anything. I didn’t need him to. He probably didn’t agree with me, and I knew nothing I said now would convince him otherwise.

---